IC contact for lastvoyages

[tucky]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Tiffany's door.]

Comments

[tucky]

It might've been food poisoning. That's a human thing, too, if you eat rotten things.

[beejfu]

Are you kidding me? Food can poison you?

[tucky]

Rotten food.

[beejfu]

Right right right. Huh. Okay. Makes sense.

Thanks Tiff.

[tucky]

You're welcome.

I think you're gonna be okay, Betelgeuse.

[beejfu]

Yeah?

That makes me feel really good inside. I have some major problems believing in myself and trying to fix everything AND also take care of an inmate and treading an invisible line where if I fuck up I go back to being banished to the realm of the living is just really overwhelming.

[tucky]

Sometimes I have problems believing in myself, too. It gets easier, even if it doesn't always get totally natural.

Don't kill any inmates, or fuck them over on purpose, or throw your weight around and be a dick. Maybe don't think of it as taking care of inmates either, unless you get put with somebody who's into that. And-- I don't know. Fixing shit is a whole, like, process; you can't do it all at once.

[beejfu]

Is it weird that talking about how fucking overwhelming this is makes it less overwhelming?

[tucky]

Human thing. Big human thing.

[beejfu]

Cool. Cool.

Hey; thanks. Thanks for this.

[tucky]

You're welcome. I'm not going anywhere, so... anytime you wanna talk about this stuff.

[beejfu]

You're better at that shit than I am.

I don't know why it happens but when things get crazy bad I just wanna vanish. I did it when I graduated and it really fucked with people and I don't know how to....I don't know, I wanted to get away for them.

And it just feels really overwhelming, you know? Like everyone was really nice to me and I treated them like crap when I was an inmate, and then I suddenly REALIZED I treated them like crap and felt all that shit hit me like a ton of bricks and didn't want to be hurting them any more so I ran but running was the shittier option? Somehow?

Jesus christ. Sorry. Sorry, that didn't make any sense.

[tucky]

It kind of makes sense. In a really confusing way.

You know you treated them like crap, but do you know, like, specifics? Do you know how to not do it again?

[beejfu]

Sure. Don't run away, don't call Hange mom, be more considerate with Rhys' feelings and sleeping outside our relationship.

Bill's a tougher nut to crack but I think just running pissed him off.

[tucky]

You called Hange mom?

[Wait no that's not the most important bit here.]

Did you apologize for all that stuff?

[beejfu]

She always felt like a mom to me but she hates it.

Yeah. I think. Mostly it was a blanket 'sorry for everything.'

[tucky]

You could try something that's more specific than that.

[beejfu]

I don't know if they wanna hear from me or not.

[tucky]

What if you do it on the network so they don't have to answer right away if they don't want to?

[beejfu]

How are you so good at answering questions? I'm amazed.

[tucky]

I got more practice being a human than you.

... And I'm thinking about things I'd want somebody to do if they hurt me.

[beejfu]

Kick 'em in the balls?

[tucky]

No! Not all the time, anyway. I have done it before.

[beejfu]

Ha! Well, that's good, because I found out how much pain really sucks!

[tucky]

I think just making sure they know you're really and truly sorry will make a difference.

They might need time, though.