tucky | Entries tagged with tlv: merlin

( filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon )

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

[The rips had closed up days ago, but Tiffany doesn't trust that right away - people were still missing and there was clearly something weird going on down at the port, so she refrains from acting like everything is over and done with yet. When people start appearing back on the ship, however, she tentatively lets herself start to believe that things really are winding down... which leads to another problem, for her.]

So, uh… during all that, I had some trouble, and Mason took my soul out of my body for a little bit, so I wouldn't be in pain and couldn't get hurt. He was great, by the way; a fucking badass - strong and brave and fighting monsters. He saved my life. He was a hero.

Y'all tell him that the next time you see him, okay?

[He revels in compliments and praise the same way she does; she has a feeling he'll like it.

And it’s so, so tempting to just focus on that and end the post right there - to do something similar to what she did after the jaeger breach and just gush about how so many people had helped her, and how nice it feels to know she has them in her corner. To just ignore the uncomfortable parts in favor of the good.

But it wouldn’t work as well the second time, and for once, she isn’t sure she’d want it to.]

But when I was out of myself, I tried to go inside a monster, and it-- I didn't really do it, but I almost did, and I felt its soul. It was the worst thing I have ever felt in my life; it was worse than dying in my dreams during that flood. It felt evil, and now my soul feels tainted.

[It isn't, really - luckily for her, any aftereffects from the experience are all in her head.]

I died a lot and then I did that, and I'm worried my soul is turning bad because of it. I don't got any real evidence, so it might not be, but... I think I would appreciate it if someone could check, or try to do an exorcism on me. Just in case.

[She smiles a twitchy smile that doesn't reach her eyes.]

I ain't panicking this time, like I did before. But if there's something wrong with me, I wanna get it fixed.

Thanks.

( filtered to Simon )

( filtered to Cambridge )

( filtered to Ricki )

[warden filter]

[audio]

Y'all doing okay? Merlin, Mason, Iris? And...

[She almost mentions Simon's name too, but she's unsure of how he feels about her right now - she hasn't yet been able to work up the courage to ask him if he's mad at her for having Merlin exorcise him, and she figures now isn't a good time for that conversation.]

And everyone else, yeah. Everybody. Some people up and disappeared; other people saw that, right? One second they was here and the next they was gone. And then they got replaced by these monsters here. Do you think they turned into them? Is that what happened?

[It's a terrifying (though, luckily, completely off-base) thought.]

Listen - these things are real nasty; I'm sure you've noticed that yourselves. I have had several close calls myself, and... I got my metal rod, from the port, but it ain't doing much. I'm gonna admit right now that I've mostly been running and hiding. How do you fight them? Can you use magic? Exorcisms? Can you--

[She suddenly gives a surprised, scared little yelp.]

-- shit.

[There's a rustling sound as she quickly shoves her phone in her pants pocket, and the sound of quick, light footsteps as she takes off - followed by the heavy, rumbling sound of something very big following. Run, Tucky, run.]

[spam]

[Ordinarily she'd try to take refuge in the chapel, but it doesn't feel safe to her anymore - Dillon's dying in there had partially tainted it for her, and whatever the hell is happening to the floor in the spot where it had happened has finished the job. It's been days since she last visited, and right now she has no plans to ever go back. Mostly, she can be found in the halls - traveling between floors when necessary, and checking up on her people. True to what she says in her broadcast, most of her defense against the monsters involves running as fast as possible, though when she's backed into a corner she can sometimes be found trying to fight one off with an iron fireplace poker. She's woefully unprepared for this. Some of those times she might get rescued, or even manage to find one off, but other times she won't; she'll die many times over the course of the week, sometimes two or three times in a row. The physical effects will be hard to ignore, but she'll push the emotional ones aside for the time being, numbing herself to them for the sake of her sanity.

When she's on her own (though she tries not to be), she moves as little as possible, using her cabin as home base during those first few days. She risks a trip to the dining hall when it gets too hard to ignore the hunger pangs, but it's far enough from her room that she doesn't want to make a habit of it - so she raids whatever is left out, taking as much of what she can find as she can carry.

Later in the week, she can also be found in the infirmary. Merlin works there and she's sticking to him like glue as much as possible; she'll also be trying to use her (very basic) first aid skills to help out the wounded, and (more likely) playing fetch and carry when people need things. She might even go out on rescue missions sometimes - going after people who need help getting to safety. She wants to be brave and heroic; she wants to make her warden proud.]

[video]

[Tiffany, of course, makes a point of visiting the chapel every Sunday morning, but she also drops by every few days besides that as well. Today, she'd noticed something was amiss the moment she'd walked into the room: it smells funny (like there'd been a fire, she thought), it's dustier than usual, and there's a large sunken stain on the floor.

She is very displeased about this, and becomes doubly so when she finds Dillon's broken rosary on the floor.]

Hey.

[She's filming herself sitting on one of the newly-shortened pews, looking sternly at the camera.]

The fuck happened in here? Where's Dillon? This is his.

[She holds up the rosary, dangling it from her fingers.]

Somebody kill him? Were y'all fighting in the chapel?

I don't got an anger parasite in me, but if someone hurt Dillon, when he just woke up, you got me to deal with, you hear? You don't fight in God's house, and you don't hurt my friends in here, either.

Fuckers.

[And with that, she cuts the feed. She'll be in the chapel for a while, first looking around for clues and then sitting and praying.]

[text]

[Hours later, after her conversation with Jean, she adds a short addition to her post.]

dillon is dead i dont know if he's coming back

( warden filter )

[spam]

[Little-known fact: the deck kind of freaks Tiffany out. Out there, space is right in your face, and there's so much of it-- it's impossibly big, and it makes her feel impossibly small. She's never even seen the ocean from the deck of a ship; seeing the entire universe from one is infinitely more overwhelming.

But it's also nice and peaceful, in a way-- not to mention beautiful. So sometimes when she's feeling particularly brave (and right now, post-port, she definitely is) she goes out onto the main deck. She almost always stays away from the railing, opting instead to stick as close to the side of the ship as possible. Sometimes she walks, but it makes her feel a little dizzy. Mostly, she can be found sitting down-- not on a bench, but on the floor, her back pressed against the solid, reassuring Barge wall.

It doesn't matter where she sits. Either way, she can still see the stars.]

( filtered to Mason; dated to after her conversation with Barbara )

[audio]

Um-- hey. I was wondering if a warden could go to my room, and get me my iPod and my Bible-- 'cause I ain't in there right now, I'm in the infirmary. Maybe a pack of cards, too; that'd be good.

[She sounds woozy and tired, but surprisingly calm; in good spirits, even. She and Merlin were both killed by kaiju, it had been traumatic, and she's death-tolling-- but she's tired of panicking and stressing about death. Even though she's more used to the idea now, it still bugs her a lot when she thinks about it, so she's actively trying not to do that. It's working pretty well, all things considered. She's not in denial about it the way she used to be, but she's careful to keep her mind focused on other things.

The toll itself sucks, though. It feels kind of like getting the flu after being run over by a steamroller.]

My head ain't right for poker or anything, but if anyone wants to play... I don't know, like Go Fish or something, you can come on down. I wanna see y'all, 'cause I think I'm gonna be stuck in here for a little bit. But that's only if I like you; if I don't, you can fuck off.

... And I also want everybody to know that my warden saved my life.

[And then she'd died right after, but that's not the important part.]

When we were still normal, he said he'd fight monsters for me, and he did. I know we thought we was different people and everything, but I think it still counts for something. He's a hero. A real hero.

[There's a smile in her voice; there's pride. She's been called a hero herself before, by her misguided fan club back at home. But she's never had anyone be a hero for her-- at least, not in the traditional way, where they physically defended her in the face of evil. She doesn't consider herself defenseless by any means, but being protected-- being valued like that-- is such a good feeling, and she's tickled pink by it. She's pushing the fact that he actually died in the process out of her mind, and just focusing in on the good.]

I just wanted to say that. That's all.

[Feed off.]

[spam, all week]

[She'll be staying at the infirmary throughout the worst of her death toll, spending most of her time in bed. For the first few days, she'll be lying down a lot: listening to her music, occasionally chatting up visitors and clinic staff, and when she's not too sore or nauseous, trying to recruit people to play cards with her (simple, easy games that don't require a lot of thought or quick movement). As the days go on and she starts feeling better, she'll sit up in bed more, and even get up and move around some. By the fifth day, she'll still be feeling the death toll's affects, but they'll be lessened and she'll be ready to go. But if by that point Merlin's still in and doesn't feel the same way, she'll stick around until he's ready to leave too. Solidarity.]

[OOC: Merlin gets blanket rights to pop into action threads and overhear her side of audio/video phone stuff, even locked conversations! Others who are working/staying in the infirmary can do this too, if they want. If you want your character to talk to Tiffany but want them to say something Merlin/others shouldn't overhear, we can have them do it in text, or set the conversation at a time when people are sleeping and/or not around.]

I need to go to Zero. Right now.

[There's the sound of hurried footsteps in the background; she's on her way to the stairs.]

I didn't do nothing and I don't plan to, but I have gotten confirmation that the demons and dark creatures here are after me. I ain't crazy or imagining things, and I ain't looking for signs and messages when there aren't any-- I got told straight out by Doctor Facilier that I pissed 'em off and I'm a goner. I don't know if any place is safe for me now, but I heard Zero's better than most.

[She takes a moment to catch her breath; she's still half-running.]

Please let me down. I wouldn't ask if it weren't an emergency; more important than life or death. It's not my body that's at stake, it's my immortal soul.

[She turns off the public feed and records a series of private messages, partially intended to be goodbye notes if things go badly. She knows people come back from the dead-- but she doesn't know if they come back from having their souls corrupted by creatures from hell.]

( filtered to Cambridge )

( filtered to Dillon )

( filtered to Dillon and Simon )

( filtered to Iris )

( filtered to Mason )

( filtered to Merlin )

All right-- because of an incident a while ago involving the pool, a loose rabbit, and some beer, my warden's just a little bit disappointed and exasperated with me, I think. We'd been talking about how he wants me to keep busy by getting a job and finding a subject to study, but he's given me a deadline now, so I'm-- I'm taking suggestions. He says I can't work in the chapel, but I was wondering... I mean...

[She trails off, frowning.]

… Hey, is it just me, or does it seem like there's a lot more people talking over this thing today?

[OOC: I will also be throwing around some Tiffany-related OITNB characters in this post, so if you want your character to talk to her lawyer or one of her prison's guards or whatever, this is the place! Also threadjacking is a-okay ~~especially if other people bring in canonmates; please bug her canonmates~~.]

[Even with the flood over, Tiffany is clearly not well: she's exhausted, broken down, and subdued. Half of her wants to climb into bed and sleep forever; the other half of her is still screaming that she should never sleep again.

But before she does either, she has one public message and several private messages to send.]

If those were really real, I guess there was only one dream about me, because I only... died once. It was at night, out in the snow, and it was cold; there was a prissy-looking blonde lady. I went after her and then she came after me.

Anyone get that one?

[She's not crazy about the idea of people dreaming her life, but if they did, she wants to know about it.]

( warden filter )

( filtered to Anya and the Admiral )

( filtered to Barbara, Dillon, Duke, Horatio, Iris, Mason, Merlin, Simon, and Tig )

( filtered to Mason and Tig )

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

[video]

[After the first night of intense, violent nightmares, Tiffany appears on the network looking alert and wild-eyed. She hasn't gotten much rest, but she's running on adrenalin, so it's not showing just yet.]

Something ain't right here.

I know-- I know y'all like to talk about death a lot. All the inmates are dead, and we died before we came here, and it's because we are vile sinners that we were brought to the Barge instead of ascending to heaven.

[Absolutely no one she's talked to has used the term "vile sinners"; she's adding that bit in on her own.]

And I didn't believe it then, but now-- I understand now; I do. I do. I'm dead and she killed me. She beat me and killed me; knocked out my teeth and probably snapped my neck. I get it, okay? Library girl, pool guy, and Mason were right! And I was wrong. I understand and accept it. I'm ready. So you can stop; I don't need to see anymore. Don't leave me to rot in purgatory. Please--

[Her voice raises suddenly, to a near-shout.]

-- please, please let me in!

[She takes a long, shaky breath, and when she speaks again her voice is quieter.]

Please.

[spam, all week]

[There is definitely something up with Tiffany.

On the first day, it starts small(ish), with her post to the network. She comes out of her room less often than usual, and doesn't show up for meals (not even lunch with Merlin). By day two, she won't be answering calls or texts with anything but apocalyptic Bible verses. By day three, Bibles will start disappearing from the chapel, and shaky, jagged crosses will appear on her cabin door, carved into the wood. Days four and five are going to get ugly, but it'll be mostly internal, because that's when she'll shut down completely: she won't leave her room or look at her phone, she won't eat, she won't even get out of bed. Every sleeping moment will be plagued by gory, horrific nightmares, and every waking moment will be fraught with confusion, grief, and feelings of betrayal. She'll be traumatized, sleep-deprived, and convinced that she's lost the favor of God...

... But she'll be too bone-tired to fight back anymore.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

[Sup, Barge. Somebody's actually in a pretty good mood right now. She's forcibly shoved away all thoughts of potentially being dead and what that might mean for her religious beliefs, and is instead focusing on the good things in life: swag.]

Hey, y'all.

[She isn't so much grinning as she is baring her teeth at the communicator, showing off her new pearly whites. While her teeth were rotten, discoloured, and in many cases all-out missing just a few days ago, now they're intact, straight, and blemish-free.]

I know how the Admiral can give you stuff now, as you can see. I got some other things, too. Like a new room, music... and I know everyone said this place has downsides and all, but I have to say I ain't seeing that yet.

[She holds up her new iPod, wiggling it for emphasis.]

This place is all right.

( warden filter )

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

[After a few days, Tiffany checks herself out of the infirmary. They were willing to let her go-- except for her teeth, she's mostly healed up; even her bruises are gone-- and she was starting to feel stir crazy, so out she went.

Except now she doesn't know where to go. She knows there's her cabin, but she doesn't want to spend all her time there-- it looks like a Litchfield prison bunk, so it's not the most comfortable place around. She's new, so she doesn't know the best common areas to hang out in. There are a lot of doors, but most of them are unopenable to her. So she wanders.

Despite her bravado and argumentativeness, the things people have been telling her since she arrived-- that she's dead, that she was chosen to be here, that she's here to make amends-- are getting to her. She doesn't fully believe them, but she can't completely disbelieve them either. If they're right (and what if they are?), everything she thought she knew about God and faith and atonement has been turned on its head. There was that man-- that Catholic-- who'd tried to help her reconcile this with what she believed, but it hadn't worked all that well. She's relatively new to her faith, and without someone spoonfeeding it to her, she's shaky in it. She's used it as both a comfort and a crutch in the past, and now she isn't sure that she has it at all anymore. She doesn't know whether that makes her feel depressed or furious; she doesn't know whether she wants to punch someone or curl up and cry. She isn't ruling out doing both.

Predictably, she finds her way to the chapel. Finding a Bible in the cabinet, she sinks down onto a bench and flips through it aimlessly, barely taking in what she's seeing. She tries the trick of opening to a random passage a couple times, but it only ever seems to be just that-- random. Sadness is the overwhelming emotion here-- sadness, confusion, feeling alone and lost. When a teardrop or two lands on the pages, she doesn't bother to brush them away.

At some point, she also wanders into the dining hall, circling the room and poking around for something to do. It's not time for a meal, but the cafeteria was a popular place to hang out and relax in Litchfield, so she figures it might be the same here. Unfortunately, she's leaning towards anger right now, and she's spoiling for a fight. That's not a good thing, on a prison ship filled with inmates just like her.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

Profile

Tiffany Doggett

2025

S	M	T	W	T	F	S

Syndicate

Style Credit

Base style: Abstractia by chiming
Theme: Smoke by chiming

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Page generated Jul. 5th, 2025 09:21 am

people like us, we don't need that much

just someone that starts the spark in our bonfire hearts

Entries tagged with tlv: merlin

♻ 018 | text/video

♻ 015 | video

♻ 014 | audio/spam

♻ 013 | video/text

♻ 010 | audio/spam

♻ 008 | audio/spam

♻ 007 | audio

♻ 006 | video

♻ 005 | video/text

♻ 004 | video/spam

♻ 003 | video

♻ 002 | spam