people like us, we don't need that much

( filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon )

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

[audio]

Y'all doing okay? Merlin, Mason, Iris? And...

[She almost mentions Simon's name too, but she's unsure of how he feels about her right now - she hasn't yet been able to work up the courage to ask him if he's mad at her for having Merlin exorcise him, and she figures now isn't a good time for that conversation.]

And everyone else, yeah. Everybody. Some people up and disappeared; other people saw that, right? One second they was here and the next they was gone. And then they got replaced by these monsters here. Do you think they turned into them? Is that what happened?

[It's a terrifying (though, luckily, completely off-base) thought.]

Listen - these things are real nasty; I'm sure you've noticed that yourselves. I have had several close calls myself, and... I got my metal rod, from the port, but it ain't doing much. I'm gonna admit right now that I've mostly been running and hiding. How do you fight them? Can you use magic? Exorcisms? Can you--

[She suddenly gives a surprised, scared little yelp.]

-- shit.

[There's a rustling sound as she quickly shoves her phone in her pants pocket, and the sound of quick, light footsteps as she takes off - followed by the heavy, rumbling sound of something very big following. Run, Tucky, run.]

[spam]

[Ordinarily she'd try to take refuge in the chapel, but it doesn't feel safe to her anymore - Dillon's dying in there had partially tainted it for her, and whatever the hell is happening to the floor in the spot where it had happened has finished the job. It's been days since she last visited, and right now she has no plans to ever go back. Mostly, she can be found in the halls - traveling between floors when necessary, and checking up on her people. True to what she says in her broadcast, most of her defense against the monsters involves running as fast as possible, though when she's backed into a corner she can sometimes be found trying to fight one off with an iron fireplace poker. She's woefully unprepared for this. Some of those times she might get rescued, or even manage to find one off, but other times she won't; she'll die many times over the course of the week, sometimes two or three times in a row. The physical effects will be hard to ignore, but she'll push the emotional ones aside for the time being, numbing herself to them for the sake of her sanity.

When she's on her own (though she tries not to be), she moves as little as possible, using her cabin as home base during those first few days. She risks a trip to the dining hall when it gets too hard to ignore the hunger pangs, but it's far enough from her room that she doesn't want to make a habit of it - so she raids whatever is left out, taking as much of what she can find as she can carry.

Later in the week, she can also be found in the infirmary. Merlin works there and she's sticking to him like glue as much as possible; she'll also be trying to use her (very basic) first aid skills to help out the wounded, and (more likely) playing fetch and carry when people need things. She might even go out on rescue missions sometimes - going after people who need help getting to safety. She wants to be brave and heroic; she wants to make her warden proud.]

[video]

[After the first night of intense, violent nightmares, Tiffany appears on the network looking alert and wild-eyed. She hasn't gotten much rest, but she's running on adrenalin, so it's not showing just yet.]

Something ain't right here.

I know-- I know y'all like to talk about death a lot. All the inmates are dead, and we died before we came here, and it's because we are vile sinners that we were brought to the Barge instead of ascending to heaven.

[Absolutely no one she's talked to has used the term "vile sinners"; she's adding that bit in on her own.]

And I didn't believe it then, but now-- I understand now; I do. I do. I'm dead and she killed me. She beat me and killed me; knocked out my teeth and probably snapped my neck. I get it, okay? Library girl, pool guy, and Mason were right! And I was wrong. I understand and accept it. I'm ready. So you can stop; I don't need to see anymore. Don't leave me to rot in purgatory. Please--

[Her voice raises suddenly, to a near-shout.]

-- please, please let me in!

[She takes a long, shaky breath, and when she speaks again her voice is quieter.]

Please.

[spam, all week]

[There is definitely something up with Tiffany.

On the first day, it starts small(ish), with her post to the network. She comes out of her room less often than usual, and doesn't show up for meals (not even lunch with Merlin). By day two, she won't be answering calls or texts with anything but apocalyptic Bible verses. By day three, Bibles will start disappearing from the chapel, and shaky, jagged crosses will appear on her cabin door, carved into the wood. Days four and five are going to get ugly, but it'll be mostly internal, because that's when she'll shut down completely: she won't leave her room or look at her phone, she won't eat, she won't even get out of bed. Every sleeping moment will be plagued by gory, horrific nightmares, and every waking moment will be fraught with confusion, grief, and feelings of betrayal. She'll be traumatized, sleep-deprived, and convinced that she's lost the favor of God...

... But she'll be too bone-tired to fight back anymore.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

[It's Christmas, Barge residents. And as it happens, one of your new arrivals is a Christmas angel.

Well, okay, she's just dressed up as one. Interestingly enough, it was Christmas on her world too, and she just got done performing in a Christmas pageant: she's wearing a white costume robe, and has a tinsel crown on her head. The front of her robe is bloody and dirty, and torn in a few places-- and given how beat-up and damaged her face looks, it's probably safe to assume that at least some of that blood is hers.

Currently she's wandering into to common area on level 6, a bit unsteady on her feet. She's also filming herself, because she found a fancy phone so why the hell not. Soon enough she stops walking and poses dramatically, arms held wide.]

Be not afraid-- for behold, I bring good tidings of... of, uh...

[And then she collapses. So yeah, that's a thing that's happening.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]