tucky | IC contact for lastvoyages

I don't think it is. I just think it ain't avoidable.

But I don't believe in the system either.

It's rarely avoidable.

...Ha, and I was just talking about choices I wish I hadn't had to make.

I have to make them here a lot. I had to make one just a couple days ago.

You thinking of any choice in particular, or just... all of 'em?

Teenagers being used in war.

What choice did you have to make?

A friend of mine got hurt in all that, and he wanted to know why. Motives and stuff. He wanted me to find out for him.

Did you find out for him?

I found out. But I told him I wouldn't tell him, and I didn't.

The person I wanna be isn't somebody who asks people stuff so I can spread it around. Even to somebody who deserves to know.

That sounds like a good choice, one that didn't betray the person you want to be. And I could be attributing false motives to your friend, based upon people I've known in the past those questions, together with an injury, sound like the sort of thing you want to know before you start seeking a little payback.

If that's what he's looking for, I can't blame him for that any more than I blame Alfie for wanting to take a strike at the wardens. My friend's an inmate. He didn't sign up for this.

You might not blame him but it's better to avoid getting caught up in it. I'm sure he'll find out all he wants to know quickly enough, it's not like they were particularly subtle.

Alfie'd probably tell him if he asked. I don't know if he's going to.

I told him I wouldn't ask and report back before I knew it was Alfie, though. For all I knew it was somebody who wouldn't've told him.

Still, it's not your duty as a friend or as a warden to report on someone else. Well, maybe some people would think it is your duty as a warden but probably not to an inmate.

I wouldn't do it for a warden, either.

I think I made the right choice; I ain't worried about that. But I am feeling like I let my friend down. It's one of those things were even the right choice wasn't a good one, you know?

Feelings are hard. I don't think you should try to separate emotions from choices, I don't think it's even possible. Still, and this is just me, I might say that it was a good choice that wasn't enjoyable to make. Did your friend act like you let him down?

I don't really wanna tell that to somebody else, either.

Don't tell me, but I hope he didn't.

Thank you.

[He had, a little, and she's not sure how long-term the consequences of that are going to be.]

God. This shit was easier when it was Arthas, and I was an inmate, and I didn't care about how desperate and angry the Barge made some people.

If you don't want to tell me something, that's always your choice. I don't want information you're not comfortable sharing.

[He gives her a rueful smile.]

That's the problem with learning, everything gets so much more complicated. I just remember that it was actually always that complicated, I just didn't know enough to understand that.

He almost killed me twice, during all that. Alfie, not-- not the other guy I was talking about.

[She doesn't know what she'd do if Lark considered killing her. She'd probably be a bit heartbroken.]

... I haven't told anybody else that.

Let me guess, you have told because you don't want anyone to try to do anything about, either in words or action. It's your choice and I understand it.

Still, that must be difficult for you to deal with.

Yeah, that, but also because I feel like this is something I know how to handle myself.

Something you can handle or something you feel like you should be able to handle?

Both, I think.

It can sometimes be difficult to disentangle the two. You're my friend and an adult, your decisions are your own. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to talk about them.

I'm talking about them to you right now.

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