IC contact for lastvoyages

[tucky]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Tiffany's door.]

Comments

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

Blowing up the pool sounds like a good start. Changing the coffee to decaf or stealing all the alcohol might be a little too dangerous.

[audio]

[tucky]

Replace all the alcohol with apple juice.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

That's harsh. I offer a little light training and you try to get me murdered.

[audio]

[tucky]

Hey, I was in prison at home. I'm a hardened criminal.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

I was just a poor innocent diplomat, not ready to be thrust into this den of crime.

[audio]

[tucky]

That's why I'm corrupting you. I'm getting you ready.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

You have to be careful, I'm very easy to corrupt. Next thing you know I won't wake up till eleven and I'll be drinking terrible American beer.

[audio]

[tucky]

You ain't even had Miller Lite yet. You don't know terrible.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

I think I might have an allergic reaction to just hearing the words 'Miller Lite'.

[audio]

[tucky]

Pabst.

Blue.

Ribbon.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

Now I'm dead. Tell them my last request was not to let you cater the wake.

[audio]

[tucky]

I would've served good cake, too.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

I can't trust you anymore. The cake would've probably come from a box.

[audio]

[tucky]

Where else would a cake come from?

[This is actually mostly a serious question.]

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

Oh mortal child, let me take you back several hundred years to where true cake comes from. Women making it by hand because the lack of technology combined with gender relations at that time tied them to unending, unpaid labor in the home.

[audio]

[tucky]

Yeah, but then we invented ShopRite.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

And the world faced a brighter day, if one where things are spelled incorrectly for no reason.

[audio]

[tucky]

I got an oven in my cabin, but I've never used it.

[She's just saying, if you want to come over and bake a cake with her, you totally can.]

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

Okay, one of these days I'm going to come over and show you how to make a proper cake. I won't bring proper alcohol because there are some things that shouldn't be mixed with cooking.

[audio]

[tucky]

It could be whiskey cake.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

I actually can make whiskey cake. The problem comes when I try to cook with people who decide to drink the whiskey and then share their 'great' ideas on how to improve the recipe.

[audio]

[tucky]

Aw, would I do that?

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

You drink lite beer, I'm not sure if there's any depth you won't sink to. Though at least you couldn't decide that the cake would cook a lot faster if you started throwing fire balls at it.

[audio]

[tucky]

Maybe I would if I could throw fireballs.

[audio]

[golden_eyes]

The important thing is that you can't.

And in case you ever get the chance, it doesn't work it just sets everything on fire. Whiskey catches on fire quite easily.