tucky | IC contact for lastvoyages

What your training?

I don't know, I just like the idea of you crawling through the mud.

I would like you to know that I am a master at crawling through the mud. And I come out looking good. If you like swamp monsters.

Can you crawl through... hot lava.

As an instructor I feel it's my duty to show my students that I can do anything that I'm asking them to do. I'm sure you feel the same.

You mean you're gonna ask me to go through hot lava?

If you think it necessary to the learning process...

[Have some dramatic choking sounds, Erskine.]

[Tiffany has started the drama off, the consequences are totally on her. He gasps loudly and there's a thud as he falls to his knees.]

She's gone, she's gone! Good God, how could you have let this happen. My soul finds itself torn asunder, how can I go on? In this moment I understand all that she meant to me. Those long weeks ago when we first met, how could I know that her departure would take all the light from my life? Now I must go on, just the shell of the man I once was! Will joy ever again touch my heart?

[And now she's laughing.

From beyond the grave.]

I can still hear her laughter, remnants of that great spirit. It touches the darkness in my heart that I thought could never feel again after her passing. Yes, I understand what I must do. I will do it for you Tiffany, so in whatever distant land you have traveled to in death you can rest. I shall institute a Barge wide training program - in your name. Truly, you will not be forgotten.

Get rid of Zero, too.

Zero will be replaced by a special treat - getting to carry me on your back while you run up a mountain.

What if you commit a crime.

Then you'll be forced to stay in bed till at least ten and be barred from training that day. Actually, after saying that I'm not sure if I can think of a crime severe enough to merit such a punishment.

Mm.

I'm gonna enable you to commit a lot of crimes now. What do you think, blowing up the pool?

Blowing up the pool sounds like a good start. Changing the coffee to decaf or stealing all the alcohol might be a little too dangerous.

Replace all the alcohol with apple juice.

That's harsh. I offer a little light training and you try to get me murdered.

Hey, I was in prison at home. I'm a hardened criminal.

I was just a poor innocent diplomat, not ready to be thrust into this den of crime.

That's why I'm corrupting you. I'm getting you ready.

You have to be careful, I'm very easy to corrupt. Next thing you know I won't wake up till eleven and I'll be drinking terrible American beer.

You ain't even had Miller Lite yet. You don't know terrible.

I think I might have an allergic reaction to just hearing the words 'Miller Lite'.

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