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♻ 020 | audio/spam
[audio]
[After Mason leaves, Tiffany is sorting through a lot of feelings, but is calm and composed as she addresses the network. Her voice sounds a little bit more rough and hoarse than usual, but that's it. She has some stuff to say - both about Mason, and (belatedly) about her warden.]
I'm glad we picked Paris. Thank you. I'm sad Merlin missed it, but I got to spend a lot of time with Mason before he left, and that was a real good place to do it in.
[Indeed, Mason had been one of the people she'd spent the most time with - Barge residents could easily have spotted the two of them running around the city like idiots, holding hands in the streets and stealing kisses in quiet corners.
They could also have seen Tiffany sitting alone, looking melancholy and keenly feeling the absence of Merlin's company.]
You know, they were good guys, Merlin and Mason. I got a lot of warden friends who I love very much, but I think Merlin was the best one to have been my own warden, and I would never have wanted to trade him away. We were real perfect together; we were two peas in a pod. I know my graduating's got a lot to do with me, but I never would've done it so fast without him. And Mason... Mason was like no guy I have ever been with before. Guys from where I'm from don't treat me bad, but Mason was sweet and charming and romantic and I might never have that again, so I'm glad I got to have that experience here. He was a good experience. Both of 'em were good experiences. And I don't regret either of 'em; not for a single second. It's real easy for me to love people, when they treat me right - and they did. They did.
[She clears her throat abruptly, like she's trying to get rid of a cough; she's starting to get teary and it shows in her voice, so she decides to just end it there.]
Okay, I'm done; that's all I got to say.
[Click. She won't completely fall apart or try to isolate herself, but she'll be walking around in a fog for a little bit, and will spend more time than usual holed up in her room. And later some filters are added, one after the other, with a few hours separating them.]
[filtered to Dillon, Iris, and Simon]
Hey, you guys doing okay?
[It's very similar to what she'd said when Merlin, Sha-infected, had told her he was going to unpair from her. The circumstances are different, but the end result is the same. Her little core group is now two men down, and her instinct is to pull the rest in even tighter.]
[filtered to Allison, Barbara, Bucky, Elena, Iris, Letty, Morgana, and Tig]
[Everyone on this filter is someone she knows is a friend of either Mason or Merlin. She hesitates before making it, not sure what she should say or even if she wants to say anything at all - but in the end, she says this.]
I'm supposed to be working on doing better at thinking about other people and their feelings, and caring about 'em even when they ain't giving me nothing for it. And I guess I'm succeeding at it, since I graduated and all.
So I just wanna say that I know it ain't just about me. I know y'all suffered a loss too, and I'm real sorry about that.
[filtered to Crowley]
pub?
[/filtered to Crowley]
[telepathic message to Jean]
[After discovering that the telepathic chip doesn't work while she's in her cabin (even after five months and a graduation, she's still only vaguely aware of the SA Filters and what they do), Tiffany heads out to the Level 6 common room closest to her end of the hallway. There, she curls up in one of the big armchairs and broadcasts out one emotion: sadness.]
[spam]
[Tiffany will continue to show up to everything she's supposed to, including meals in the dining hall (sometimes she sits alone, other times she spots a friendly face and joins them) and her work in the infirmary (where - unless someone is hurt or needs attention - she can mostly be found sorting through supplies and keeping the clinic area neat). She heads out onto the deck most evenings, where she breaks her habit of hugging the side of the Barge and sitting on the safe, solid floor - she stands right at the railing, looking out at the stars.
She starts out taking all this about as well as can be expected - she's down in the dumps, but she knows life will go on. Then she begins to find herself wandering through the hallways on levels 4 and 7, hesitating in front of 4-19 and and 7-11 - Mason and Merlin's old rooms, respectively. Their doors are blank now, of course, but that doesn't stop her from standing in front of them for minutes at a time, like she's waiting for someone to come out. As the days go on, this becomes more and more common, and her stops become longer and longer. Eventually, they'll start lasting for hours. She won't connect it to her use of the Admiral powers or any other outside influences right away, but for anyone else that does, she's clearly very, very affected. Her loss of her friends and the Barge's loss of its inmates have become inexorably linked in her mind, and it's quickly turning into an obsessive fixation.]
[After Mason leaves, Tiffany is sorting through a lot of feelings, but is calm and composed as she addresses the network. Her voice sounds a little bit more rough and hoarse than usual, but that's it. She has some stuff to say - both about Mason, and (belatedly) about her warden.]
I'm glad we picked Paris. Thank you. I'm sad Merlin missed it, but I got to spend a lot of time with Mason before he left, and that was a real good place to do it in.
[Indeed, Mason had been one of the people she'd spent the most time with - Barge residents could easily have spotted the two of them running around the city like idiots, holding hands in the streets and stealing kisses in quiet corners.
They could also have seen Tiffany sitting alone, looking melancholy and keenly feeling the absence of Merlin's company.]
You know, they were good guys, Merlin and Mason. I got a lot of warden friends who I love very much, but I think Merlin was the best one to have been my own warden, and I would never have wanted to trade him away. We were real perfect together; we were two peas in a pod. I know my graduating's got a lot to do with me, but I never would've done it so fast without him. And Mason... Mason was like no guy I have ever been with before. Guys from where I'm from don't treat me bad, but Mason was sweet and charming and romantic and I might never have that again, so I'm glad I got to have that experience here. He was a good experience. Both of 'em were good experiences. And I don't regret either of 'em; not for a single second. It's real easy for me to love people, when they treat me right - and they did. They did.
[She clears her throat abruptly, like she's trying to get rid of a cough; she's starting to get teary and it shows in her voice, so she decides to just end it there.]
Okay, I'm done; that's all I got to say.
[Click. She won't completely fall apart or try to isolate herself, but she'll be walking around in a fog for a little bit, and will spend more time than usual holed up in her room. And later some filters are added, one after the other, with a few hours separating them.]
[filtered to Dillon, Iris, and Simon]
Hey, you guys doing okay?
[It's very similar to what she'd said when Merlin, Sha-infected, had told her he was going to unpair from her. The circumstances are different, but the end result is the same. Her little core group is now two men down, and her instinct is to pull the rest in even tighter.]
[filtered to Allison, Barbara, Bucky, Elena, Iris, Letty, Morgana, and Tig]
[Everyone on this filter is someone she knows is a friend of either Mason or Merlin. She hesitates before making it, not sure what she should say or even if she wants to say anything at all - but in the end, she says this.]
I'm supposed to be working on doing better at thinking about other people and their feelings, and caring about 'em even when they ain't giving me nothing for it. And I guess I'm succeeding at it, since I graduated and all.
So I just wanna say that I know it ain't just about me. I know y'all suffered a loss too, and I'm real sorry about that.
[filtered to Crowley]
pub?
[/filtered to Crowley]
[telepathic message to Jean]
[After discovering that the telepathic chip doesn't work while she's in her cabin (even after five months and a graduation, she's still only vaguely aware of the SA Filters and what they do), Tiffany heads out to the Level 6 common room closest to her end of the hallway. There, she curls up in one of the big armchairs and broadcasts out one emotion: sadness.]
[spam]
[Tiffany will continue to show up to everything she's supposed to, including meals in the dining hall (sometimes she sits alone, other times she spots a friendly face and joins them) and her work in the infirmary (where - unless someone is hurt or needs attention - she can mostly be found sorting through supplies and keeping the clinic area neat). She heads out onto the deck most evenings, where she breaks her habit of hugging the side of the Barge and sitting on the safe, solid floor - she stands right at the railing, looking out at the stars.
She starts out taking all this about as well as can be expected - she's down in the dumps, but she knows life will go on. Then she begins to find herself wandering through the hallways on levels 4 and 7, hesitating in front of 4-19 and and 7-11 - Mason and Merlin's old rooms, respectively. Their doors are blank now, of course, but that doesn't stop her from standing in front of them for minutes at a time, like she's waiting for someone to come out. As the days go on, this becomes more and more common, and her stops become longer and longer. Eventually, they'll start lasting for hours. She won't connect it to her use of the Admiral powers or any other outside influences right away, but for anyone else that does, she's clearly very, very affected. Her loss of her friends and the Barge's loss of its inmates have become inexorably linked in her mind, and it's quickly turning into an obsessive fixation.]
[ Filter ]
[This is sincere; she's not a soft person, but her voice is warm nonetheless.]
But you know that Merlin isn't... a loss. Really. Right?
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He helped you and he got something he needed, something he couldn't get anywhere else.
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[ Spam ]
He knows, a few days after it happens, that Mason has left too. So when he sees her after that when he walks out of his cabin into the fourth floor hallway, he's not really sure what too make of it.
And then he is. The day he leaves to get food and comes back and she's still standing there is the day he sighs, then takes her by the arm and moves her to the common room.]
Come on.
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Where are we going?
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Right here. What the hell are you doing?
[He knows what she's doing. He wants to hear her say it, wants to know if she can.]
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[text/private]
When her strength runs low she falls asleep under the tree.]
mfine darling
you are a star <3 <3
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Spam (present-dated)
He's had his own moments of feeling halfway paralysed by a sense of intense absence, and he's found that the only way to get away from it is to do something.
So he comes up alongside Tiffany, JB ducking down to sniff her toes.]
Alright, luv? You been 'ere a while.
Spam (present-dated)
Yeah, I-- yeah. I'm doing okay.
Mason was on this floor, is all. Was.
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[text to Roderick, after he's let out of Zero]
do you want to watch movies in my room its 306
no subject
I'll be right there.
[And he makes his way up the stairs to 3-06, knocking lightly on her door when he gets there.]
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Filter
Thank you, Tiffany.
...They'll do fine, I think. [Hope is something she's been desperately clinging too, but it's almost easy this time.]
Filter
But Barbara, I'm still really sad.
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Tiffany's sadness is almost a relief - it's sharper, brighter, human, and the shape of it is profoundly familiar.
As she slides her book back into its proper place, she responds first with silent understanding.]
Want some company?
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[For once, he doesn't ask if she is. He remembers what it was like when Kieren left. And, actually, it's because he remembers that he does add:]
You're not angry with them?
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Spam - Present-dated (let me know if this isn't cool)
She crosses the threshold at mid-morning but doesn't go much further than letting Tiffany she that she's there.]
Do you have a Band-Aid?
[Mild, and obviously not why she's come, but it's a start.]
Spam - totally cool!
Yes. Hi, yes; we do. Hold on, I'll just get you one.
[She pulls a box out of a drawer and takes out a Band-Aid - then, after a moment, takes out two more.]
You should take three, just in case you start bleeding a lot - 'cause, you know, sometimes the blood can overflow the first one and make you need to replace it.
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