tucky | ♻ 020 | audio/spam

[audio]

[After Mason leaves, Tiffany is sorting through a lot of feelings, but is calm and composed as she addresses the network. Her voice sounds a little bit more rough and hoarse than usual, but that's it. She has some stuff to say - both about Mason, and (belatedly) about her warden.]

I'm glad we picked Paris. Thank you. I'm sad Merlin missed it, but I got to spend a lot of time with Mason before he left, and that was a real good place to do it in.

[Indeed, Mason had been one of the people she'd spent the most time with - Barge residents could easily have spotted the two of them running around the city like idiots, holding hands in the streets and stealing kisses in quiet corners.

They could also have seen Tiffany sitting alone, looking melancholy and keenly feeling the absence of Merlin's company.]

You know, they were good guys, Merlin and Mason. I got a lot of warden friends who I love very much, but I think Merlin was the best one to have been my own warden, and I would never have wanted to trade him away. We were real perfect together; we were two peas in a pod. I know my graduating's got a lot to do with me, but I never would've done it so fast without him. And Mason... Mason was like no guy I have ever been with before. Guys from where I'm from don't treat me bad, but Mason was sweet and charming and romantic and I might never have that again, so I'm glad I got to have that experience here. He was a good experience. Both of 'em were good experiences. And I don't regret either of 'em; not for a single second. It's real easy for me to love people, when they treat me right - and they did. They did.

[She clears her throat abruptly, like she's trying to get rid of a cough; she's starting to get teary and it shows in her voice, so she decides to just end it there.]

Okay, I'm done; that's all I got to say.

[Click. She won't completely fall apart or try to isolate herself, but she'll be walking around in a fog for a little bit, and will spend more time than usual holed up in her room. And later some filters are added, one after the other, with a few hours separating them.]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, and Simon]

Hey, you guys doing okay?

[It's very similar to what she'd said when Merlin, Sha-infected, had told her he was going to unpair from her. The circumstances are different, but the end result is the same. Her little core group is now two men down, and her instinct is to pull the rest in even tighter.]

[filtered to Allison, Barbara, Bucky, Elena, Iris, Letty, Morgana, and Tig]

[Everyone on this filter is someone she knows is a friend of either Mason or Merlin. She hesitates before making it, not sure what she should say or even if she wants to say anything at all - but in the end, she says this.]

I'm supposed to be working on doing better at thinking about other people and their feelings, and caring about 'em even when they ain't giving me nothing for it. And I guess I'm succeeding at it, since I graduated and all.

So I just wanna say that I know it ain't just about me. I know y'all suffered a loss too, and I'm real sorry about that.

[filtered to Crowley]

pub?

[/filtered to Crowley]

[telepathic message to Jean]

[After discovering that the telepathic chip doesn't work while she's in her cabin (even after five months and a graduation, she's still only vaguely aware of the SA Filters and what they do), Tiffany heads out to the Level 6 common room closest to her end of the hallway. There, she curls up in one of the big armchairs and broadcasts out one emotion: sadness.]

[spam]

[Tiffany will continue to show up to everything she's supposed to, including meals in the dining hall (sometimes she sits alone, other times she spots a friendly face and joins them) and her work in the infirmary (where - unless someone is hurt or needs attention - she can mostly be found sorting through supplies and keeping the clinic area neat). She heads out onto the deck most evenings, where she breaks her habit of hugging the side of the Barge and sitting on the safe, solid floor - she stands right at the railing, looking out at the stars.

She starts out taking all this about as well as can be expected - she's down in the dumps, but she knows life will go on. Then she begins to find herself wandering through the hallways on levels 4 and 7, hesitating in front of 4-19 and and 7-11 - Mason and Merlin's old rooms, respectively. Their doors are blank now, of course, but that doesn't stop her from standing in front of them for minutes at a time, like she's waiting for someone to come out. As the days go on, this becomes more and more common, and her stops become longer and longer. Eventually, they'll start lasting for hours. She won't connect it to her use of the Admiral powers or any other outside influences right away, but for anyone else that does, she's clearly very, very affected. Her loss of her friends and the Barge's loss of its inmates have become inexorably linked in her mind, and it's quickly turning into an obsessive fixation.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, I did. I liked her; we talked about you some. Good things.

[She can't see it, but in the privacy of his room, he smiles sadly at that. Of course they'd talked about him. Of course Amy'd had good things to say. He can't imagine it going any differently at all. His voice softens a little, grows sonorous and somber.]

That version of Amy was from before. I'm not sure exactly when, but... she died a few days before we came here. Died again, I mean.

So you're bringing her back to life, right?

[It's the natural assumption to make.]

I mean... not life life. Undead life.

Yeah. That was Kieren's deal.

[And he's just going to skip over the part he doesn't want to think about: how Phillip had said she'd been able to feel the cold before she died, how she'd been bleeding... No, when Amy comes back, it will be the right way. The way she was.]

Mine...

[...is the harder one to explain. He knows that while the dead in Roarton might call him the disciple, the living use a different term: extremist.]

She was killed by somebody who thought the sacrifice would bring on another Rising. That's something a lot of my people want. There aren't many of us left, and we can't make more the way you can. It won't be long before the living can just wipe us out if they want to. I've told you some of the things they've already done.

So is your deal to make more? To make another Rising without making her a sacrifice?

Without sacrificing anyone.

[Because Amy had been a mistake, anyway; Simon knows who the real sacrifice should have been, and it's not a thing he can allow to happen. He hadn't let it happen. But if he could still have his Second Rising...]

That's a good deal to make, Simon. You made a good choice.

[Whew. That had gone more smoothly than he'd expected.]

Thank you, Tiffany.

You're welcome.

Do you still miss Kieran? Like, a lot?

Only... sometimes. I did in Paris -- it would've been easy to go home from there, if we'd been in the right world. Easy to go home, and good to see him again.

You could go visit and then come back.

No. Not until I'm done here -- not until Ivy's ready.

Why, are you worried if you left you wouldn't want to come back?

Or that I couldn't. The Admiral... or whatever's controlling the ship now, it's capricious. I wouldn't want to encourage it to do anything that could hurt her.