♻ 020 | audio/spam

[tucky]

[audio]

[After Mason leaves, Tiffany is sorting through a lot of feelings, but is calm and composed as she addresses the network. Her voice sounds a little bit more rough and hoarse than usual, but that's it. She has some stuff to say - both about Mason, and (belatedly) about her warden.]

I'm glad we picked Paris. Thank you. I'm sad Merlin missed it, but I got to spend a lot of time with Mason before he left, and that was a real good place to do it in.

[Indeed, Mason had been one of the people she'd spent the most time with - Barge residents could easily have spotted the two of them running around the city like idiots, holding hands in the streets and stealing kisses in quiet corners.

They could also have seen Tiffany sitting alone, looking melancholy and keenly feeling the absence of Merlin's company.]

You know, they were good guys, Merlin and Mason. I got a lot of warden friends who I love very much, but I think Merlin was the best one to have been my own warden, and I would never have wanted to trade him away. We were real perfect together; we were two peas in a pod. I know my graduating's got a lot to do with me, but I never would've done it so fast without him. And Mason... Mason was like no guy I have ever been with before. Guys from where I'm from don't treat me bad, but Mason was sweet and charming and romantic and I might never have that again, so I'm glad I got to have that experience here. He was a good experience. Both of 'em were good experiences. And I don't regret either of 'em; not for a single second. It's real easy for me to love people, when they treat me right - and they did. They did.

[She clears her throat abruptly, like she's trying to get rid of a cough; she's starting to get teary and it shows in her voice, so she decides to just end it there.]

Okay, I'm done; that's all I got to say.

[Click. She won't completely fall apart or try to isolate herself, but she'll be walking around in a fog for a little bit, and will spend more time than usual holed up in her room. And later some filters are added, one after the other, with a few hours separating them.]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, and Simon]

Hey, you guys doing okay?

[It's very similar to what she'd said when Merlin, Sha-infected, had told her he was going to unpair from her. The circumstances are different, but the end result is the same. Her little core group is now two men down, and her instinct is to pull the rest in even tighter.]

[filtered to Allison, Barbara, Bucky, Elena, Iris, Letty, Morgana, and Tig]

[Everyone on this filter is someone she knows is a friend of either Mason or Merlin. She hesitates before making it, not sure what she should say or even if she wants to say anything at all - but in the end, she says this.]

I'm supposed to be working on doing better at thinking about other people and their feelings, and caring about 'em even when they ain't giving me nothing for it. And I guess I'm succeeding at it, since I graduated and all.

So I just wanna say that I know it ain't just about me. I know y'all suffered a loss too, and I'm real sorry about that.

[filtered to Crowley]

pub?

[/filtered to Crowley]

[telepathic message to Jean]

[After discovering that the telepathic chip doesn't work while she's in her cabin (even after five months and a graduation, she's still only vaguely aware of the SA Filters and what they do), Tiffany heads out to the Level 6 common room closest to her end of the hallway. There, she curls up in one of the big armchairs and broadcasts out one emotion: sadness.]

[spam]

[Tiffany will continue to show up to everything she's supposed to, including meals in the dining hall (sometimes she sits alone, other times she spots a friendly face and joins them) and her work in the infirmary (where - unless someone is hurt or needs attention - she can mostly be found sorting through supplies and keeping the clinic area neat). She heads out onto the deck most evenings, where she breaks her habit of hugging the side of the Barge and sitting on the safe, solid floor - she stands right at the railing, looking out at the stars.

She starts out taking all this about as well as can be expected - she's down in the dumps, but she knows life will go on. Then she begins to find herself wandering through the hallways on levels 4 and 7, hesitating in front of 4-19 and and 7-11 - Mason and Merlin's old rooms, respectively. Their doors are blank now, of course, but that doesn't stop her from standing in front of them for minutes at a time, like she's waiting for someone to come out. As the days go on, this becomes more and more common, and her stops become longer and longer. Eventually, they'll start lasting for hours. She won't connect it to her use of the Admiral powers or any other outside influences right away, but for anyone else that does, she's clearly very, very affected. Her loss of her friends and the Barge's loss of its inmates have become inexorably linked in her mind, and it's quickly turning into an obsessive fixation.]

Comments

[characterdefect]

It doesn't . . . feel like what I do. It feels different.

[tucky]

It doesn't feel like what happened to me, either. Even the screaming don't get to me too much, and that's what I have nightmares about the most.

[characterdefect]

[He squeezes her shoulder.]

I don't think it's very realistic at all.

[tucky]

Good. I don't wanna be put in no death trap room.

[Don't jinx a Saw-esque flood into reality, Tiffany.]

[characterdefect]

[She's totally jinxing everybody. Good going, Tiffany.]

Anybody who tried to put you in a death trap room would have to go through me first.

[tucky]

[She wriggles closer, burrowing into his side.]

That's nice to hear. That makes me feel safe.

[characterdefect]

It should. I've protected more people from worse.

[tucky]

Will you tell me about that sometime?

[characterdefect]

Sure. Whenever you want. They're mostly lots of little stories, instead of one big one, so we can space them out.

[tucky]

What about now?

[characterdefect]

Sure.

Did I ever tell you about Jacob?

[tucky]

Uh-uh - no, I don't think so. Was he your family?

[characterdefect]

Yeah, he was. We weren't as close as some of the other people in the family - he came in kind of late. But someone tried to hurt him. A girl - she tried to get him killed. And I protected him. I told him the truth.

[tucky]

What truth? And why'd she try to get him killed?

[characterdefect]

She was done using him. She said she loved him, but she didn't treat him like family. She left him behind when the cops came after us, like trash.

[There's real anger in his voice. He had used Jacob against Emma, but he'd been angry for him, too. There had been no reason for the way she'd treated him; it was against the unspoken code of their family. But then, Emma was never trustworthy.]

The truth I told him was that she didn't love him, and that she wanted to hurt him. That she'd tried to kill him. And I helped him get back to safety.

[tucky]

Did he believe you?

[characterdefect]

He believed me. I had no reason to lie.

[tucky]

Do you worry about your people getting used a lot?

Do you worry about that with me?

[characterdefect]

Sometimes. Yeah. I worry about you getting taken advantage of because you're so trusting.

[tucky]

There's people I don't trust. I don't trust Arthas and them.

[characterdefect]

You mean him and Sylvanas?

[tucky]

Yeah, and all the people like them. I know they don't wanna be trapped here, but I don't trust them.

[characterdefect]

I'd still kill him for you, you know. If you wanted me to.

[tucky]

I can't ask you to do that.

[characterdefect]

I know. You graduated. But if you wanted, I would.