♻ 015 | video

[tucky]

[The rips had closed up days ago, but Tiffany doesn't trust that right away - people were still missing and there was clearly something weird going on down at the port, so she refrains from acting like everything is over and done with yet. When people start appearing back on the ship, however, she tentatively lets herself start to believe that things really are winding down... which leads to another problem, for her.]

So, uh… during all that, I had some trouble, and Mason took my soul out of my body for a little bit, so I wouldn't be in pain and couldn't get hurt. He was great, by the way; a fucking badass - strong and brave and fighting monsters. He saved my life. He was a hero.

Y'all tell him that the next time you see him, okay?

[He revels in compliments and praise the same way she does; she has a feeling he'll like it.

And it’s so, so tempting to just focus on that and end the post right there - to do something similar to what she did after the jaeger breach and just gush about how so many people had helped her, and how nice it feels to know she has them in her corner. To just ignore the uncomfortable parts in favor of the good.

But it wouldn’t work as well the second time, and for once, she isn’t sure she’d want it to.]

But when I was out of myself, I tried to go inside a monster, and it-- I didn't really do it, but I almost did, and I felt its soul. It was the worst thing I have ever felt in my life; it was worse than dying in my dreams during that flood. It felt evil, and now my soul feels tainted.

[It isn't, really - luckily for her, any aftereffects from the experience are all in her head.]

I died a lot and then I did that, and I'm worried my soul is turning bad because of it. I don't got any real evidence, so it might not be, but... I think I would appreciate it if someone could check, or try to do an exorcism on me. Just in case.

[She smiles a twitchy smile that doesn't reach her eyes.]

I ain't panicking this time, like I did before. But if there's something wrong with me, I wanna get it fixed.

Thanks.

[filtered to Simon]

... Hey, Simon. Hi.

[filtered to Cambridge]

Maybe when we do our next therapy meeting, we can talk about this? About dying and stuff. I don’t…

I don't think I’m handling it too well.

[filtered to Ricki]

Can I talk to you?

[warden filter]

Comments

[16thstar]

That's why I said it.

[tucky]

But it's not true.

[16thstar]

Why shouldn't it be? I believe in you.

[tucky]

Because life ain't a fairy tale, okay?

[16thstar]

Oh, you might be surprised... [ her life is a literal fairy tale. ]

[tucky]

I won't be.

[16thstar]

Do you know the story of the Tennyo whose hagoromo was stolen, and she couldn't return to the heavens until she got it back?

[tucky]

Don't even know what those words mean.

[16thstar]

I know there are other versions of the tale. They were... [ she has to ask Ceres for some help remembering. ] swan maidens? Or a woman who puts on a fur and turns into a seal, or a leopard?

[tucky]

Why're we talking about this?

[16thstar]

Because the fairy tale is true. I'm a descendant of one of those Tennyo.

[tucky]

You got to try to prove me wrong with everything?

[16thstar]

I'm only trying to make you feel better.

[tucky]

I don't get it.

[16thstar]

What don't you get?

[tucky]

How this is supposed to help.

[16thstar]

Doesn't it help to have people have faith in you?

[tucky]

[... Yes.]

You sound like a kid. Some kids got faith in everybody.

[16thstar]

I don't. But you're worried about it. You wouldn't be so worried about it if you weren't a good person, deep down.

[tucky]

When I was talking about evil people, I wasn't talking about myself.

Arthas. He's the evil one.

[16thstar]

[ Somehow that rattles her more than anything else Tiffany has said. ]

He isn't. I know he caused a lot of trouble and hurt a lot of people, but I know he isn't evil, not really. He's always been kind to me and Ceres.

[tucky]

Don't fucking defend him to me.

[16thstar]

I'm sorry, but he's my friend. He's the only friend that Ceres has.

[tucky]

He killed my friend. He probably killed some of my other friends, too. He killed me.

[16thstar]

I'm sorry he did that. But I still don't think he's really evil.