♻ 015 | video

[tucky]

[The rips had closed up days ago, but Tiffany doesn't trust that right away - people were still missing and there was clearly something weird going on down at the port, so she refrains from acting like everything is over and done with yet. When people start appearing back on the ship, however, she tentatively lets herself start to believe that things really are winding down... which leads to another problem, for her.]

So, uh… during all that, I had some trouble, and Mason took my soul out of my body for a little bit, so I wouldn't be in pain and couldn't get hurt. He was great, by the way; a fucking badass - strong and brave and fighting monsters. He saved my life. He was a hero.

Y'all tell him that the next time you see him, okay?

[He revels in compliments and praise the same way she does; she has a feeling he'll like it.

And it’s so, so tempting to just focus on that and end the post right there - to do something similar to what she did after the jaeger breach and just gush about how so many people had helped her, and how nice it feels to know she has them in her corner. To just ignore the uncomfortable parts in favor of the good.

But it wouldn’t work as well the second time, and for once, she isn’t sure she’d want it to.]

But when I was out of myself, I tried to go inside a monster, and it-- I didn't really do it, but I almost did, and I felt its soul. It was the worst thing I have ever felt in my life; it was worse than dying in my dreams during that flood. It felt evil, and now my soul feels tainted.

[It isn't, really - luckily for her, any aftereffects from the experience are all in her head.]

I died a lot and then I did that, and I'm worried my soul is turning bad because of it. I don't got any real evidence, so it might not be, but... I think I would appreciate it if someone could check, or try to do an exorcism on me. Just in case.

[She smiles a twitchy smile that doesn't reach her eyes.]

I ain't panicking this time, like I did before. But if there's something wrong with me, I wanna get it fixed.

Thanks.

[filtered to Simon]

... Hey, Simon. Hi.

[filtered to Cambridge]

Maybe when we do our next therapy meeting, we can talk about this? About dying and stuff. I don’t…

I don't think I’m handling it too well.

[filtered to Ricki]

Can I talk to you?

[warden filter]

Comments

[tucky]

It's a fucking obsession, and it's stupid.

[16thstar]

No wonder you're so hard to talk to, if you don't believe in manners.

[tucky]

I think it's bad manners to try to tell me what a nice guy he is.

[16thstar]

I didn't say that. I said he isn't evil.

[tucky]

You said he was nice.

[16thstar]

He was nice to us.

[tucky]

That don't matter to me. Keep it to yourself.

[16thstar]

Then you should say that, not just curse at me.

[tucky]

It's the same thing, practically!

[16thstar]

It's not the same at all!

[tucky]

Jesus Christ.

[16thstar]

You're lucky I'm not Christian. You really need to clean up your language.

[tucky]

I am a Christian. God don't mind if I use His name for something as-- as infuriating and awful as this.

[16thstar]

I think he probably minds if you're always this obscene.

[tucky]

What would you know about what He wants?

[16thstar]

What do you know about what he wants?

[tucky]

I'm His follower. I know.

[16thstar]

And that means you can do whatever you want?

[tucky]

Ain't nothing in the Bible that says I can't swear.

[16thstar]

Does it say you should be inconsiderate and cruel?

[tucky]

No, but I ain't doing that, you are.

[16thstar]

Well you're wrong about that.

[ She shuts off the feed. Just for effect, really. ]