tucky | ♻ 019

[She sniffs, resting her cheek against her knees.]

I know you said I know why. And I guess I do, 'cause you told me a little bit. But can you tell me again? More?

[He cocks his head, staring at her, like he's trying to figure something out.]

Why do you wanna know?

Because you're my friend and I love you and I wanna know you.

It seems like something you won't understand, if you didn't already. It seems like it might just hurt you.

Maybe, but that's okay.

No, it's not. I promised I wouldn't.

Don't you remember?

I'm asking you to, it's different.

[It makes him uncomfortable. But it is, he supposes, ultimately her decision. He relents, relaxes, wincing at the pain in his limbs.]

What exactly do you want to know?

I wanna know whatever you wanna say. I wanna know what you get from it, maybe. What it feels like.

[A slow inhale, exhale. He tries to remember how he put it to his family - his followers - Charlie and Amanda and the rest of them. He draws on the place where it hits him, dark and bright all at once, in the center of his body under the ribs. He remembers:]

It feels like letting go of a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Like seeing something so beautiful you know in your heart you're never going to see anything even close to again. Like understanding yourself perfectly, and understanding the other person just as much.

It's power. But it's like going home, too.