♻ 019 | audio

[tucky]

[filtered to Letty]

Can I talk to you?

[filtered to Roderick]

Can you come and see me? I'm in 603.

Comments

[characterdefect]

Then what's it about, Tiffany?

[He just sounds tired.]

[tucky]

It's about me not believing you got to hurt people to be yourself.

[characterdefect]

You think I'm lying to you?

[tucky]

No, but I think maybe you don't know any different. I know how that feels.

[characterdefect]

What is it that you think I'm missing?

[tucky]

Things that make you feel good that aren't killing people.

[characterdefect]

I feel good spending time with people I love. Like you.

[tucky]

But it's not enough, right? So maybe you need to find something that's enough.

[characterdefect]

But what if I don't want to stop?

[tucky]

If you found something else, maybe you would.

[Suddenly, Tiffany is very aware of why Iris let Roderick kill her. She hates dying and she hates hurting and she never wants it to happen again, but if she thought him killing her might abate his urges, she'd tell him to do it in a heartbeat.]

[characterdefect]

I can't imagine it.

[Can't imagine letting go of that most important part of his life, the part that allows him to control people, to give and take from them as he will. Nothing has ever anchored him in life as strongly as killing. Nothing will ever be the same. There is no something else. There never can be.]

[He doesn't want to tell her this. He doesn't want to break her heart.]

[tucky]

There was a lot of stuff I couldn't imagine before the Barge.

[characterdefect]

You imagining a bright new future for me, Tiffany?

[tucky]

Yeah. I am.

[characterdefect]

What's it look like? White picket fence with a dog?

[tucky]

It ain't up to me to decide that.

[characterdefect]

Well, it's gotta be up to someone.

[tucky]

Yeah.

You.

[characterdefect]

So I gotta make a decision, but it can't be the decision I already made?

[tucky]

It's gotta be a decision that don't fuck up other people's lives.

[characterdefect]

[He just snorts.]

They come back here anyway. [But he knows that's not the point.]

[tucky]

It feels awful, dying here. And it feels awful coming back.

[characterdefect]

[Iris didn't complain.]

[He doesn't say it. He actually doesn't want to hurt her.]

Fine.

[tucky]

[She falls silent, curving her head down closer against his shoulder.]