♻ 019 | audio

[tucky]

[filtered to Letty]

Can I talk to you?

[filtered to Roderick]

Can you come and see me? I'm in 603.

Comments

[characterdefect]

[A slow inhale, exhale. He tries to remember how he put it to his family - his followers - Charlie and Amanda and the rest of them. He draws on the place where it hits him, dark and bright all at once, in the center of his body under the ribs. He remembers:]

It feels like letting go of a breath you didn't realize you were holding. Like seeing something so beautiful you know in your heart you're never going to see anything even close to again. Like understanding yourself perfectly, and understanding the other person just as much.

It's power. But it's like going home, too.

[tucky]

It made you feel like you understood her?

[That's the part that surprises her the most.]

[characterdefect]

Her and everyone else.

The last moment before death is the most beautiful moment in any person's life.

[tucky]

But you said it didn't work with people who are your family. Why not?

[characterdefect]

Because I already know them.

[tucky]

[It... sort of makes sense.]

So you don't feel like, if you killed me, you'd know me even better.

[characterdefect]

[He smiles warmly. If he could, he'd take her hands in his.]

I don't think so. I think I know you pretty well already.

[tucky]

I think you do, too.

Are you gonna keep wanting to do this, Roderick?

[characterdefect]

Yes.

[An instant response.]

I've always wanted to.

[tucky]

Are you gonna keep listening to those wants?

[characterdefect]

When I have the opportunity to. Yes.

[tucky]

[Tiffany turns her head to bury her face against her knees. She has absolutely no idea what she's supposed to be doing here.]

[characterdefect]

[He cocks his head at her, speaks softly.]

Hey, now. I didn't want to upset you.

[tucky]

[She reaches out a hand and rests it on his arm - very gently, like it's barely there at all.]

I just don't know what to do.

[characterdefect]

Some things aren't in your power to change.

[tucky]

I don't wanna think that when we're talking about the lives of people I care about.

[characterdefect]

Whether you want to think it or not, that's how it is.

[tucky]

Maybe you could find something else that gives you those feelings.

[characterdefect]

Like what're you thinking?

[He's skeptical.]

[tucky]

I have no idea. No idea at all.

[characterdefect]

Well, I'm sorry. That just isn't going to work for me.

. . . Maybe you ought to talk to Horatio.

[tucky]

He's your warden, right?

[characterdefect]

Yeah. He's all right.

[tucky]

Do you still think I am?

[characterdefect]

You think I'd even considering changing for somebody who wasn't?