♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I think I'm gonna keep her.

[She nods.]

[tucky]

Yeah, I would too if I was you.

[...]

I didn't mean that in a gay way.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

I knew what you meant, Tiffany.

[She's trying really hard not to laugh though. And it's even harder not to tease her about it as well.]

[tucky]

Okay. I just wanted to make sure, 'cause... well, you know.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Because I'd totally kick your ass if you were trying to steal my girlfriend?

[Elena, of course, would not, but she makes it sound believable. Sorta. She's maybe 75% good at selling this.]

[tucky]

'Cause I'm straight.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[...There's a beat of awkward silence.]

You know I was joking, right?

[tucky]

... Yeah, maybe. I thought maybe you was.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Right. This is still a little awkward, so moving right along.]

Seriously though, congrats on graduating. It's a huge step.

[tucky]

A step? Ain't it the end goal?

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You've got your whole life ahead of you, Tiffany. It's far from the end.

[tucky]

... Yeah.

I even got plans for home, for when I do go. Only it's complicated, 'cause this place is my home now, too.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[Elena nods a little. She can understand that feeling. Although the Barge hasn't really felt like home in a while, if she's honest with herself. A lot of the people she's depending on the most have either left, are in the process of leaving, or will soon.]

[Or they're like Dean and not there altogether from the beginning.]

It's tough leaving it behind, but you'll know when it's time. When you're ready.

[tucky]

That might be a long time from now. I feel like I just got here. I feel like if I ever leave, I'll be giving too much up.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

[That's not something Elena understands on a personal level, but she's seen it a few times.]

You didn't have anything when you first got here either though, right?

[tucky]

I had the Barge itself.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

But you didn't really know anybody.

[tucky]

No.

But I know that where I come from, there ain't anybody like the people here.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You sure you just aren't looking in the wrong place?

[tucky]

I never had chance or cause to look anywhere but my hometown area. Or prison.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

You'll have a chance to look other places once you leave here. There's a whole world out there waiting to be explored, you know.

[tucky]

Why do I got to have the end goal of leaving? Iris doesn't.

[forgetyourusedtobe]

Iris won't be here forever either, Tiffany. She's stopped here for a while, but it's just a small blip in the rest of her lifetime.

No one can really stay here forever. They can stay a long time, but not forever. It's not meant to be like that.

[tucky]

How do you know? Does the Admiral kick people off?

[forgetyourusedtobe]

No. But everyone leaves eventually. That's just part of life, that's not unique to the Barge.