♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[tucky]

Oh.

I thought you didn't. Probably. Like I said, it was kinda hard to tell.

[absentconstellation]

Perhaps now you will find it easier.

[tucky]

... I don't know about that.

[absentconstellation]

We shall see.

[ She's a dog person, isn't she. ]

[tucky]

You could be more... I don't know, open. Forward.

[absentconstellation]

I could. But I rather prefer being myself.

[tucky]

You got a point there.

[absentconstellation]

I am sorry that you find yourself in a position of responsibility in such tumultuous times.

[tucky]

Do you think I can't do it?

[absentconstellation]

I haven't been here long enough to be able to say who can and cannot warden effectively. But the coming months will be especially difficult for all of us.

[tucky]

How do you know that?

[absentconstellation]

I pay attention. The Admiral still has not returned. At the rate at which the ship's power is being used all chaos may break loose before he does.

[tucky]

He graduated me. I think that means he's there.

[absentconstellation]

I would be greatly comforted if he chose to make that more apparent.

[tucky]

He's mad, I bet. Mad at us.

[absentconstellation]

That is no excuse for such irresponsible behavior.

[tucky]

Does it count as irresponsible if it's the Admiral doing it?

[absentconstellation]

Why should it not?

[tucky]

Because he's the Admiral.

[absentconstellation]

And as such he is responsible for all of us.

[tucky]

It ain't like he's a warden. He's above all that stuff.

[absentconstellation]

Those in a position of power have a responsibility to those over whom they have power.

[tucky]

Yeah, I... I'd agree if you was talking about wardens or guards. I just don't know if I agree when we're talking about the Admiral.

[Logically, she's been pretty well convinced that he isn't God. Emotionally, she has trouble not treating him as if he were.]

[absentconstellation]

He is no more exempt from the rules of this world than anyone else.

[tucky]

What if he made the rules?