♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[absentconstellation]

I pay attention. The Admiral still has not returned. At the rate at which the ship's power is being used all chaos may break loose before he does.

[tucky]

He graduated me. I think that means he's there.

[absentconstellation]

I would be greatly comforted if he chose to make that more apparent.

[tucky]

He's mad, I bet. Mad at us.

[absentconstellation]

That is no excuse for such irresponsible behavior.

[tucky]

Does it count as irresponsible if it's the Admiral doing it?

[absentconstellation]

Why should it not?

[tucky]

Because he's the Admiral.

[absentconstellation]

And as such he is responsible for all of us.

[tucky]

It ain't like he's a warden. He's above all that stuff.

[absentconstellation]

Those in a position of power have a responsibility to those over whom they have power.

[tucky]

Yeah, I... I'd agree if you was talking about wardens or guards. I just don't know if I agree when we're talking about the Admiral.

[Logically, she's been pretty well convinced that he isn't God. Emotionally, she has trouble not treating him as if he were.]

[absentconstellation]

He is no more exempt from the rules of this world than anyone else.

[tucky]

What if he made the rules?

[absentconstellation]

Then he did a very poor job of it.

[tucky]

Don't talk about him like that.

[absentconstellation]

I will speak as I please. Especially so if it is the truth, and something that you need to hear.

[tucky]

Just 'cause you think it don't make it the truth. And you don't get to tell me what I need to hear anymore.

[absentconstellation]

No. It being true is what makes it the truth.

[ He can tell her whatever he pleases. It doesn't matter to him if she doesn't think she needs to hear it. If she did then she wouldn't need him to say it then, would she? ]

[tucky]

It's not true. You're ungrateful and stubborn and stuck-up, and you think you're right about everything. You're not.

[absentconstellation]

All true. But I do find your attitude towards the Admiral worrying. He is far from perfect, and does not deserve your unconditional trust.

[tucky]

[She hesitates, surprised - she'd expected anger. Not that she's ever actually seen Pounce angry, but still.]

He deserves a lot more than he gets from the people here, that's for sure.

[absentconstellation]

[ It is very difficult to make Pounce angry if you aren't a poorly behaved kitten or overly affectionate. ]

Perhaps. But it is unwise for you to believe that you can make up the difference.

[tucky]

That ain't what I'm trying to do.

[absentconstellation]

Good. [ He nods his approval. ] I knew you weren't a fool.