IC contact for lastvoyages

[tucky]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Tiffany's door.]

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[tucky]

Then I guess I'm gonna have to prove I'm not.

Can I give you a hug right now? Please.

[gulosity]

[She doesn't want to say yes. She doesn't want to. But she turns anyway, into Tiffany's arms, burying her face in her shoulder. Hates herself for it, but does it anyway.]

[tucky]

[Tiffany needs to be held too, honestly. She melts against Lourdes at the same time as she hugs her strongly and fiercely - resting her chin on her shoulder, whispering just loud enough to be heard.]

I been saying a lot of things wrong lately, is all. That was just one of those things. I didn't mean it how it sounded.

And I love you so much. That don't feel like I'm lying, does it?

[gulosity]

. . . No.

[She sniffs, blinks, sighs. A few tears fall onto Tiffany's shoulder.]

That sounds like the truth.

[tucky]

Good.

I admire you a lot, you know? Since the shit with Sylvanas you have always been there for me - more than anybody else, even. I don't think I could've been as strong and brave as you are. I know I couldn't've, 'cause I'm really struggling a lot right now.

But I wish I could show you how I feel, and how I'm telling the truth. And how I am so sad that you're used to people leaving and letting you down.

[gulosity]

. . . I just don't trust it.

[Don't trust you. She doesn't say it. It would feel a little bit like a lie.]

I want to hurt her, you know.

[tucky]

I know. I know you do.

What happened to you, Lourdes? You don't have to say. But if you want to tell, I will listen, and I will love you no matter what.

[gulosity]

I already told you so much.

[It feels like she's turned herself inside out with how much she's told Tiffany.]

[tucky]

And I didn't hate you or leave you, right?

... You know, I gotta show you my file someday. I can't believe I never gave it to you yet. Never came up, I guess.

[gulosity]

[She doesn't answer the question, just bites her lip and pulls away.]

You don't have to.

[tucky]

I like letting people read it, if they want to see it. I like letting people know me.

[gulosity]

I already know you.

[tucky]

Yeah, that's true. You don't know every, like, event, but you know me. ... And you know a lot of events.

There's only one thing I wanna ask you to do for me, Lourdes. I want to ask you to let me be here for you tomorrow and the next day and the next day and the next day. For however long it's gonna take for you to believe me when I say I don't want to be like those other people who made excuses and left.

[gulosity]

Okay.

[It's meek, tired. Again: she doesn't want to, but she does.]

It's not like I have anywhere else to go anyway.

[tucky]

[She smiles a little smile, but there are tears in her eyes again.]

You won't be stuck here forever, I promise.

[gulosity]

[Lourdes just shrugs.]

You can't make that promise.

[tucky]

I think I can. I feel like I can.

But while you're here I wanna keep loving each other, you and me.

[gulosity]

Okay. I'm not good at love, though.

[tucky]

You been really good at it with me so far. I'd be a way bigger mess if it wasn't for everything you done for me this week.

[gulosity]

That's not love. That's just . . .

[Protectiveness. Possessiveness.]

[tucky]

Well, it felt like love to me.

[gulosity]

I guess that's all that matters.

[tucky]

Not all.

[She leans over and kisses the top of Lourdes's head, then pulls back again.]

Can I ask you a question?

[gulosity]

[Sniffing again, Lourdes half-shrugs.]

Sure.

[tucky]

[She thinks of the conversations she's had with a few people, and of comments and jokes other people have made.]

... If the Admiral put you and me together in a warden and inmate pairing, would you want that or not?