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♻ 011 | audio
Mar. 18th, 2015 11:17 pmI got a question. Merlin--
[Nope, she can't do it that way. Just saying his name out loud makes her breath hitch, because even though it's just a name, it had represented something. She hadn't had to call him "Officer" or "Mister"-- he had let her call him by his given name, as if they were friends or equals. She'd thought they were friends and equals. But then he'd just told her that they weren't, and that he couldn't continue to let her think otherwise. He hadn't yelled or insulted her, but after months of being in awe over how friendly, open, and warm the wardens here were, his detached coldness had cut far worse than anger would have.
So she takes a breath and continues, her voice steady but her tone distant.]
My warden. He said he ain't gonna hang around with me so much anymore, 'cause he thinks I take advantage-- trying to get stuff, or being too friendly; I don't know. We've been real good friends in the past, I think, but he don't want that anymore. He wants to try a different way. He don't want to be my warden at all anymore, actually.
[She's trying hard to sound matter-of-fact, but in her head she's replaying every conversation she's had with or about Merlin-- every time she's given off the impression that he's overly permissive or generous, or allowed someone to believe that to be the case. With John when he'd first arrived (You want stuff? Ask the wardens.). With Mason in the infirmary (So you jus' give her everything she wants? Best of friends, you are?). While bickering with Dark (You get a warden to change your room yet? They're real nice if you're nice to them.). Countless more times besides.
It really had happened a lot.]
So I'm just wondering how that's gonna work out. Am I unpaired? Do I get someone new? Or is he gonna still be stuck with me even though he don't want me?
I got to thinking about the wardens in a way he didn't like, I guess; that's what he said the problem was. But the rest of you that I know don't seem like you mind it.
[Unless they're just humoring her. She doesn't think they are-- but then, she hadn't thought Merlin was, either.]
... Yeah. That's all.
[Click.]
( filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon )
[Nope, she can't do it that way. Just saying his name out loud makes her breath hitch, because even though it's just a name, it had represented something. She hadn't had to call him "Officer" or "Mister"-- he had let her call him by his given name, as if they were friends or equals. She'd thought they were friends and equals. But then he'd just told her that they weren't, and that he couldn't continue to let her think otherwise. He hadn't yelled or insulted her, but after months of being in awe over how friendly, open, and warm the wardens here were, his detached coldness had cut far worse than anger would have.
So she takes a breath and continues, her voice steady but her tone distant.]
My warden. He said he ain't gonna hang around with me so much anymore, 'cause he thinks I take advantage-- trying to get stuff, or being too friendly; I don't know. We've been real good friends in the past, I think, but he don't want that anymore. He wants to try a different way. He don't want to be my warden at all anymore, actually.
[She's trying hard to sound matter-of-fact, but in her head she's replaying every conversation she's had with or about Merlin-- every time she's given off the impression that he's overly permissive or generous, or allowed someone to believe that to be the case. With John when he'd first arrived (You want stuff? Ask the wardens.). With Mason in the infirmary (So you jus' give her everything she wants? Best of friends, you are?). While bickering with Dark (You get a warden to change your room yet? They're real nice if you're nice to them.). Countless more times besides.
It really had happened a lot.]
So I'm just wondering how that's gonna work out. Am I unpaired? Do I get someone new? Or is he gonna still be stuck with me even though he don't want me?
I got to thinking about the wardens in a way he didn't like, I guess; that's what he said the problem was. But the rest of you that I know don't seem like you mind it.
[Unless they're just humoring her. She doesn't think they are-- but then, she hadn't thought Merlin was, either.]
... Yeah. That's all.
[Click.]
( filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon )
