♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[anewlanguage]

...Yeah. I mean if it wouldn't be cutting into your plans.

[tucky]

You can be a part of my plans.

[anewlanguage]

[And on that day the Grinch Cain's heart grew three sizes.

But outwardly he just nods.]

I'll bring the good whiskey.

...Hey can I ask you something more personal?

[tucky]

Yeah, okay. What is it?

[anewlanguage]

You've met Victor, right? What's your take on him?

[tucky]

Um... he's okay. I don't know him well at all, but he's nice enough to me.

[private]

But I heard about some of the stuff he done, and I know he hurt Iris. She don't seem to mind, but I don't like it.

private

[anewlanguage]

Yeah, he has. She's got it all figured out in her head to where she doesn't care much of people here hurt her. But I mind. [And he's glad Tiffany does, too.]

He was nice to Iris, too, you know.

private

[tucky]

Good. I'm glad. I'm still scared of him, though.

She wants me to try to be his friend, and she said she thinks I could be good for him - and that he could be a good friend to me. But she also said he rips people apart. Now, I ain't always been a nonviolent person, but that's... I don't know.

private

[anewlanguage]

[He winces, and nods.] You know what I used to do, back home? Well it made me real damn good at predicting people, and I'm not saying that to brag. I think he'll turn on you at some point. But I think if you ditch him right now, it'll make you a target. Iris and Vic have you between a rock and a hard place, kid.

private

[tucky]

It ain't Iris's fault; she didn't do nothing.

Does it count as ditching if I only talked to him a couple times? ... He helped me out a little bit with Arthas's monsters.

private

[anewlanguage]

I wouldn't count it that way, no. If you're not in the habit of talking to him he probably wouldn't even notice if you stopped, right?

private

[tucky]

Well, the thing is, usually he starts the conversation.

private

[anewlanguage]

Yeah? [It's not surprising, but it's not what he expected.] What kind of things does he say? Is it video usually?

private

[tucky]

He followed me in the hallway once. We just talked a little bit. He said he liked me and I reminded me of somebody he knew.

He said he wasn't gonna hurt me. Maybe he was telling the truth.

[Or maybe he wasn't goes unspoken.]

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

I'd have to see him to know for sure but, to tell you the truth, I think he was being honest. But I think he can change his mind in a flash. I never thought he'd hurt Iris, but he has, more than once.

private

[tucky]

Even if he doesn't hurt me, he's still hurting other people. He could hurt people I care about.

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

If he doesn't hurt someone you care about, I'll eat my hat.

private

[tucky]

I have trouble handling that. Seeing it.

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

I don't think I'd like you if you could just handle it. I know I can't, not anymore.

I'm going to come up with something, some way of knocking him down when he gets out of hand. No one should get hurt 'cause of him. ...Not even him.

private

[tucky]

Okay. I trust you.

... Would you like me if I was violent? If I was like him, and I changed my mind about people real easily?

[Because she is, or was, and she isn't sure Cain knows that.]

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

Yeah. I think I would. I mean I think you have that in you and you choose to be like you are, but I have a hard time trusting anyone who isn't capable of holding a knife if they have to.

private

[tucky]

Okay.

'Cause I shot someone. And I've beat people up, and gotten into fights, and threatened people with sharp things. Was gonna cut a girl up with one, once. But this Victor stuff's on a whole 'nother level. And those monsters - I still have nightmares about 'em.

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

If you were like me, you just didn't know how to survive without jumping to violence. I learned better here. I can tel you did, too; don't let people take advantage of you for it.

private

[tucky]

I don't know. I don't think that was it, 'cause I wasn't in a lot of life or death situations back home. Or any at all, mostly.

Who do you think's gonna take advantage of me?

Re: private

[anewlanguage]

No? Huh. When's the first time you ever hit someone, and meant it?

[It feels very much like a betrayal to answer this question, but he has to. He has to, because it's Cass Tiffany at risk.]

Well Iris likes you. A whole hell of a lot, actually. But she likes Victor more, and if there was a gun to someone's head...I think she'd let you take it, you know? If it meant saving him. So I just don't want her to push you to be his friend if you don't feel safe. [And she shouldn't feel safe.]