♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

private

[tucky]

Do you want him to be?

private

[characterdefect]

More than anything.

private

[tucky]

I think that's usually how it happens, right? If you come back, you get the same warden.

private

[characterdefect]

I wouldn't know. I never left before.

. . . You think that's how it'll work out?

private

[tucky]

It makes sense, right? You was paired up for a reason the first time.

private

[characterdefect]

Yeah. We were.

It's not that he doesn't understand everything that matters. It's that he tries to understand. You know?

private

[tucky]

And trying's a good thing, right?

private

[characterdefect]

Trying's the most important thing.

private

[tucky]

Can I try too? 'Cause I don't know very much about you, actually.

private

[characterdefect]

'Course you can. You can ask me anything, too. I'll tell you what I can.

private

[tucky]

Really?

... Well, I don't know where to start. You can ask me stuff too, if you want.

private

[characterdefect]

All right. What do you think made you graduate?

private

[tucky]

... Lots of stuff. A couple talks I had with people at that party helped a lot, I think. One with my warden, and one with this girl Abigail.

Where're you from?

private

[characterdefect]

Virginia. Little town you probably never heard of, in the mountains.

You?

private

[tucky]

Pennsylvania. A little town you probably never heard of, near the mountains.

You like it there? You wanna go back someday?

private

[characterdefect]

I didn't like Virginia much. I found a town that I liked a lot, though. Haven, Maryland. I was the sheriff there, and all my family lived there with me. I wish I could go back there.

Why'd you leave Pennsylvania?

private

[tucky]

I got taken to prison. I never lived anywhere else before that.

Waynesboro's near the Maryland border; maybe you have heard of it. Have you?

private

[characterdefect]

Oh, yeah, I have. Never been there, but I've heard of it. Haven's not much bigger, I don't think.

When you got taken to prison, was that the time you killed someone?

private

[tucky]

[She pauses to smile at that. She's never met anyone here who's even heard of her town, and it's nice to have that changed.

The next question sobers her up, though, and she answers it without following it up with one of her own.]

Yeah, it was. I shot a woman at a health clinic.

private

[characterdefect]

You seem sad about that. You regret it?

private

[tucky]

Yeah, I do. She was nasty to me, but she didn't deserve to die. I'm making my deal for her.

private

[characterdefect]

[That surprises him, but it's also . . . well, it's kind of nice. And he's kind of fascinated by it, in a way. Deals for people who've just died, that's another way of traversing the boundary between life and death, and isn't that what he's most interested in, after all?]

You think she's ever gonna know what you did for her?

private

[tucky]

Nope. I'm just gonna make it so I missed.

private

[characterdefect]

Doesn't that mean you still go to prison?

private

[tucky]

Yeah, I'm not getting rid of that part. Just making a little change.