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♻ 011 | audio
I got a question. Merlin--
[Nope, she can't do it that way. Just saying his name out loud makes her breath hitch, because even though it's just a name, it had represented something. She hadn't had to call him "Officer" or "Mister"-- he had let her call him by his given name, as if they were friends or equals. She'd thought they were friends and equals. But then he'd just told her that they weren't, and that he couldn't continue to let her think otherwise. He hadn't yelled or insulted her, but after months of being in awe over how friendly, open, and warm the wardens here were, his detached coldness had cut far worse than anger would have.
So she takes a breath and continues, her voice steady but her tone distant.]
My warden. He said he ain't gonna hang around with me so much anymore, 'cause he thinks I take advantage-- trying to get stuff, or being too friendly; I don't know. We've been real good friends in the past, I think, but he don't want that anymore. He wants to try a different way. He don't want to be my warden at all anymore, actually.
[She's trying hard to sound matter-of-fact, but in her head she's replaying every conversation she's had with or about Merlin-- every time she's given off the impression that he's overly permissive or generous, or allowed someone to believe that to be the case. With John when he'd first arrived (You want stuff? Ask the wardens.). With Mason in the infirmary (So you jus' give her everything she wants? Best of friends, you are?). While bickering with Dark (You get a warden to change your room yet? They're real nice if you're nice to them.). Countless more times besides.
It really had happened a lot.]
So I'm just wondering how that's gonna work out. Am I unpaired? Do I get someone new? Or is he gonna still be stuck with me even though he don't want me?
I got to thinking about the wardens in a way he didn't like, I guess; that's what he said the problem was. But the rest of you that I know don't seem like you mind it.
[Unless they're just humoring her. She doesn't think they are-- but then, she hadn't thought Merlin was, either.]
... Yeah. That's all.
[Click.]
[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]
Hi. Just wondering how y'all are doing.
[Behind the filter, she lets down her defenses a little bit more; she sounds not just subdued, but weary and sad. Merlin has removed himself from the little clique she's mentally formed for herself, and so she's reaching out to the remaining "members". Her warden's resounding rejection hurts, and she wants to reassure herself that none of the rest of them-- the wardens especially-- feel the way he does.]
[Nope, she can't do it that way. Just saying his name out loud makes her breath hitch, because even though it's just a name, it had represented something. She hadn't had to call him "Officer" or "Mister"-- he had let her call him by his given name, as if they were friends or equals. She'd thought they were friends and equals. But then he'd just told her that they weren't, and that he couldn't continue to let her think otherwise. He hadn't yelled or insulted her, but after months of being in awe over how friendly, open, and warm the wardens here were, his detached coldness had cut far worse than anger would have.
So she takes a breath and continues, her voice steady but her tone distant.]
My warden. He said he ain't gonna hang around with me so much anymore, 'cause he thinks I take advantage-- trying to get stuff, or being too friendly; I don't know. We've been real good friends in the past, I think, but he don't want that anymore. He wants to try a different way. He don't want to be my warden at all anymore, actually.
[She's trying hard to sound matter-of-fact, but in her head she's replaying every conversation she's had with or about Merlin-- every time she's given off the impression that he's overly permissive or generous, or allowed someone to believe that to be the case. With John when he'd first arrived (You want stuff? Ask the wardens.). With Mason in the infirmary (So you jus' give her everything she wants? Best of friends, you are?). While bickering with Dark (You get a warden to change your room yet? They're real nice if you're nice to them.). Countless more times besides.
It really had happened a lot.]
So I'm just wondering how that's gonna work out. Am I unpaired? Do I get someone new? Or is he gonna still be stuck with me even though he don't want me?
I got to thinking about the wardens in a way he didn't like, I guess; that's what he said the problem was. But the rest of you that I know don't seem like you mind it.
[Unless they're just humoring her. She doesn't think they are-- but then, she hadn't thought Merlin was, either.]
... Yeah. That's all.
[Click.]
[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]
Hi. Just wondering how y'all are doing.
[Behind the filter, she lets down her defenses a little bit more; she sounds not just subdued, but weary and sad. Merlin has removed himself from the little clique she's mentally formed for herself, and so she's reaching out to the remaining "members". Her warden's resounding rejection hurts, and she wants to reassure herself that none of the rest of them-- the wardens especially-- feel the way he does.]
[Private]
[And it does, kind of.
But now she'll turn off her communicator and wait for him in the common room-- lying on her back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.]
[Private]
Ello.
[Private]
[Her eyes are red-rimmed and her cheeks a little tear-streaked, but true to her word, she isn't crying. There's a small pile of DVDs sitting on the coffee table, grabbed at random from the library-- The Shining, Titanic, The Lion King, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and more.]
Couldn't decide what to watch.
-- Mason, do you think less of me?
[For getting upset, for crying, for relying on her warden too much. For anything.]
[Private]
[He says, as he looks over the movies. Not bad, Tiffany. Mason hauls himself over the couch's back, flopping down beside her]
My opinion of you has not diminished in the slightest, Tiff.
[Private]
[She says this without thinking; then, when she remembers that he seemed to really like being complimented before-- they have that in common-- she grabs onto his hand repeats herself.]
You're fucking amazing. I'm so glad I met you.
What do you wanna watch?
[Private]
Am I really? Amazing?
Ohh, I dunno. Whichever you like, I'm not much for cinema. More of a concert-goer meself.
[Private]
[She tucks her face down against the crook of his neck, brushing her thumb over the back of his hand.]
You are really amazing. Amazing and gorgeous and spectacular.
[Private]
[He stretches his arm up around Tiffany to wrap around her shoulder, giving a bit of a smirk]
You're the only one who thinks so. Thanks, love. You smell me? I've been showering.
[Private]
Yeah. You smell nice. Didn't think you smelled too bad before as long as it was just sweat, but... yeah, showering is good. I like how you smell.
[And she doesn't really want to move from her current, very comfortable position, so she's going to try to do this without having to. Eyes closed, she stretches her arm out and grabs the leg of the coffee table, pulling it closer so she can reach both the DVDs and the DVD player from the couch. Then she grabs blindly for a movie, coming up with Ferris Bueller.]
Mm'kay, got one. Never seen it before, but... it don't really matter.
[Private]
[Mason gives a bit of a grin, watching Tiffany operate all this]
Darling. You do know that I'm not going anywhere, correct?
[Private]
[And with that she pops the DVD into the player and turns it on.]
So why do you shower more now? You finally steal all those bathroom lightbulbs?
[Private]
[Private]
... But hey. She's already pleased with you. She told me. I'm not the only one who thinks you're amazing; she loves you, and when you was messed up in that port, a lot of people were worrying about you and asking me if you were okay.
[Private]
It's a nice thing, knowing you're cared over. She's a good egg, Gwen.
Really? Bloody hell, didn't realize I knew that many people. 'Less they were asking because of you.
[Private]
[She twists her head so she can kiss his cheek.]
It's a real nice thing. And you are very, very cared over. You really are, my darling.
[She adds an absolutely terrible imitation of his accent to those last two words.]
[Private]
That is not how I sound, thank you.
[Private]
[She snuggles down closer, wrapping her arm around his.]
When the movie's over, want to come back to my room for the night?
[Private]
[No, Mason, no]
...Wouldn't mind that so much.
[Private]
Okay. That's worse than me. I think.
[They were both pretty bad; it's hard to tell.
When she's done laughing, she settles in to actually watch the TV; it's almost done rolling through the previews and is about to start the movie proper.]
Yeah, it'd be nice if you came. But only if you want to.
[Private]
I only do the things I want, Tiff. That's what makes me so selfish.
[Private]
[She lifts his hand, kissing his knuckles.]
You're always there for me.
[Private]
[Private]
... Well, I'm not shunning you.
Does that mean you really were jealous of my warden that time? 'Cause he said you were.
[Private]
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