♻ 011 | audio

[tucky]

I got a question. Merlin--

[Nope, she can't do it that way. Just saying his name out loud makes her breath hitch, because even though it's just a name, it had represented something. She hadn't had to call him "Officer" or "Mister"-- he had let her call him by his given name, as if they were friends or equals. She'd thought they were friends and equals. But then he'd just told her that they weren't, and that he couldn't continue to let her think otherwise. He hadn't yelled or insulted her, but after months of being in awe over how friendly, open, and warm the wardens here were, his detached coldness had cut far worse than anger would have.

So she takes a breath and continues, her voice steady but her tone distant.]

My warden. He said he ain't gonna hang around with me so much anymore, 'cause he thinks I take advantage-- trying to get stuff, or being too friendly; I don't know. We've been real good friends in the past, I think, but he don't want that anymore. He wants to try a different way. He don't want to be my warden at all anymore, actually.

[She's trying hard to sound matter-of-fact, but in her head she's replaying every conversation she's had with or about Merlin-- every time she's given off the impression that he's overly permissive or generous, or allowed someone to believe that to be the case. With John when he'd first arrived (You want stuff? Ask the wardens.). With Mason in the infirmary (So you jus' give her everything she wants? Best of friends, you are?). While bickering with Dark (You get a warden to change your room yet? They're real nice if you're nice to them.). Countless more times besides.

It really had happened a lot.]

So I'm just wondering how that's gonna work out. Am I unpaired? Do I get someone new? Or is he gonna still be stuck with me even though he don't want me?

I got to thinking about the wardens in a way he didn't like, I guess; that's what he said the problem was. But the rest of you that I know don't seem like you mind it.

[Unless they're just humoring her. She doesn't think they are-- but then, she hadn't thought Merlin was, either.]

... Yeah. That's all.

[Click.]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

Hi. Just wondering how y'all are doing.

[Behind the filter, she lets down her defenses a little bit more; she sounds not just subdued, but weary and sad. Merlin has removed himself from the little clique she's mentally formed for herself, and so she's reaching out to the remaining "members". Her warden's resounding rejection hurts, and she wants to reassure herself that none of the rest of them-- the wardens especially-- feel the way he does.]

Comments

[badgerms]

What the fuck do they even know? They ain't any more knowledgable than the rest of us just 'cause some magic asshole gave 'em a job.

[tucky]

Most of them know plenty, but that ain't the point here.

I'm not a lost cause.

[badgerms]

Think this place is gonna redeem you like they say it's s'posed to?

[tucky]

I've already been redeemed. That's not why I'm here.

[badgerms]

Ain't it?

[tucky]

I was redeemed when I found the Lord.

I'm here to make my life better.

[badgerms]

If you got redeemed, you would'a gone to Heaven when you died.

[tucky]

[She stiffens a little, because that's exactly the kind of thought she struggled with for her first month here-- but she's thought about this, both on her own and with help from others, and has an answer ready.]

No, I'm getting a second chance at life instead. Some people go to heaven and some people go to hell, and some people come to the Barge.

I came to the Barge.

[badgerms]

You believe that? No Bible I ever saw mentioned shit about the Barge.

[tucky]

Yeah, I know-- but it ain't always, like, literal. And there's some stuff you don't get to know until you die.

[badgerms]

How'd you die?

[tucky]

-- I got beat to death. I don't know exactly how it happened but it was probably some brain thing.

[badgerms]

Some brain thing?

[tucky]

Yeah, head injury. Whatever happens to people when they die from assault.

[badgerms]

[Guess who's laughing a little bit at you, Tiffany. Sorry.]

So what'd you do to make someone wanna beat the shit outta you?

[tucky]

-- Shut the fuck up. Quit laughing.

[badgerms]

You gonna make me?

[tucky]

I could.

[badgerms]

Horseshit.

[tucky]

Yeah? Where are you? You wanna fight me?

[badgerms]

I ain't too proud to hit a girl. You wanna be stupid enough to come up here on the deck to get your ass beaten, go right ahead.

[Please. He's dying to hit something.]

[tucky]

Good, 'cause I ain't delicate and I can fight guys just fine.

[Going up to the deck right now.]

[badgerms]

Be waitin' for you, princess.

[And he is, leaned back against the railing facing the entrance out onto the deck from the lower levels. He's got a filterless cigarette hanging between his lips. His elbows are resting on the rail, hands hanging loose but clenching and restless, fingertips brushing the handle of his KA-BAR occasionally.]

[tucky]

[Tiffany slams her phone off and stalks up the stairs, confusion and upset now joined by anger. Who does this guy think he is anyway, laughing about her death? She knows she isn't supposed to fight and she knows Merlin would be disappointed-- but very, very soon, Merlin won't be her warden anymore. And besides, this fight is consentual. The guy had literally asked her to come punch him. She figures that makes it okay.

She swings the deck door open and storms out, for once not even bothering to cling to the wall of the Barge out of fear of falling off. She's too pissed off to be nervous, and the fact that this guy is just standing there casually pisses her off even more. She swings the first punch, quick and hard towards his face.]

[badgerms]

[Snafu's staring right at the door and it'd be hard to miss her coming towards him. He straightens up, a manic ghoulish kind of smile tugging at his mouth. This feels right. This feels better. There's an itch inside his bones that's been growing, tearing at him, urging him to rip into everything, go hard and fast and mean. What does it matter? He's dead anyway. There's nothing he cares about here. His hands go from loose to tight but he doesn't try to undercut her attack.

Her punch is faster than he might have expected but he's trained, even if he hasn't exactly been keeping up with physical training since before landing on Peleliu, months ago now. He ducks away from it instinctively. Her knuckles graze his cheekbone and glance off instead of landing square. It still hurts but it's not enough to disable him even a little bit.

Without hesitation he lunges forward with a fast jab of his own at her jaw, left hand darting forward to try grabbing a handful of her shirt to reel her into it.]