tucky | ♻ 005 | video/text

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♻ 005 | video/text

[Even with the flood over, Tiffany is clearly not well: she's exhausted, broken down, and subdued. Half of her wants to climb into bed and sleep forever; the other half of her is still screaming that she should never sleep again.

But before she does either, she has one public message and several private messages to send.]

If those were really real, I guess there was only one dream about me, because I only... died once. It was at night, out in the snow, and it was cold; there was a prissy-looking blonde lady. I went after her and then she came after me.

Anyone get that one?

[She's not crazy about the idea of people dreaming her life, but if they did, she wants to know about it.]

[warden filter]

I just wanted to say, you don't got to worry about me hurting people anymore. I got it all outta my system.

[She doesn't think about the fact that some (or even most) of the people she's addressing might not have any idea what she's talking about. She just assumes that since they're all wardens, they share most of their information.]

I didn't even do it 'cause I was mad this time; I did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Sometimes… sometimes I look for messages from God too much.

[She offers a wan little smile, clearly forced.]

That guy is a real demon, though; I don't know if y'all know that. He admitted it to me himself. But I know God didn't actually tell me to kill him. I know. Maybe He didn't even tell me to kill that woman back in Litchfield, neither. I've been thinking about that, and...

[... And that's kind of off-topic. She trails off.]

So I won't do it again. No more killing for God.

[Probably. Maybe. She does genuinely mean it when she says that, but that doesn't mean that she won't change her mind later... or that she won't attack someone for completely different reasons, the way she did at least once before she found religion.

Now, though, she just shakes her head, looking down at her hands.]

It didn't even work, anyway. Nothing worked. The dreams stayed.

[filtered to Anya and the Admiral]

I broke the bed. I'm real sorry.

[And she does look sorry. In fact, she looks far more guilty when she talks about this than she looked when she talked about trying to murder Vergil. Her cabin's bed is one of the nicest things anyone has ever given her, and yet she purposefully damaged it. She's practically in tears.]

I understand if you're mad at me, but it weren't because I didn't appreciate it. I was-- I was having a lot of problems, and I needed something sharp, so I took a piece of wood off the headboard. But it still looks real nice; it's just a little banged up, is all. If I can sand it down I can fix it some, maybe.

I still love it, and I don't want you to think I don't. That's all.

[filtered to Barbara, Dillon, Duke, Horatio, Iris, Mason, Merlin, Simon, and Tig]

"May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this." Samuel 2:6.

[filtered to Mason and Tig]

Especially you, 'cause you ain't wardens and it weren't your job to try and help me, but you did it anyway. Thank you.

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[He furrows his brows.]

When you say you 'kinda' did...? What did you do?

I called her up and told her what happened, and asked her not to tell him I spilled the beans.

... I guess it was for nothing now, but that's okay. Better this way than the other way, where you told her and I didn't get to say my side.

[Merlin nods.]

What did she say?

Said I sounded like a good friend. You think that's true?

Yes, I do.

[He smiles.]

And I'm glad that you told her what happened - I'm glad that you took responsibility for it. I think that was a good decision, Tiffany.

So do I, because she told me she wouldn't tell him I accidentally snitched.

[What's the best way to impress a guy you like? LIE TO THEM]

She's real nice; I liked her. And she said she was glad I was friends with him and stuff.

[Yeeeaaaah he's prepared to just let her negotiate that hurdle when she gets to it. Besides, he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to lying to your friends.]

Good. Thank you for telling me.

But I didn't. That other warden did.

[He shakes his head.]

I mean the rest of it. It's your business, and you didn't need to tell me.

Oh.

Well, you're my warden, right? I'm supposed to tell you stuff.

[Merlin shrugs.]

I'd like you to tell me stuff because you trust me to know that stuff.

Oh.

[She's tilts her head, thinking.]

... So what kind of stuff am I supposed to trust you to know?

I can't tell you that.

I...what I'd like is for you to be honest with me, because you trust that I'll use what I know to try and help you.

Okay. Well, I think it would help more if you could tell me, but I'm getting the sense that this is one of those things you want me to figure out for myself.

[Pause.]

At the beginning of that flood, one of the times when you were down at the infirmary, Mason came over and we ended up kissing. I was just wondering if that's allowed here.

[She's confident that Merlin isn't going to punish her for it, but she's used to a prison where pretty much all physical affection is technically disallowed, even simple hugs (not that people hadn't found ways to get around the rules, of course). She knows hugging is allowed here-- so many wardens, including Merlin himself, have hugged and held her-- but she isn't sure if more amorous activities among inmates are a different story.]

[He can't tell her because he doesn't know. It would be nice if she could work it out for herself but ultimately he knows it'll be a joint effort.

Then she goes on, and his eyebrows lift fractionally. This is the face of someone who's kissed one person in his entire life. Help.]

...I, ah. I don't think it's not allowed.

[You brought this on yourself, Merlin]

All right. Good to know.

[She's kind of amused by his awkwardness, and it shows.]

[Yes. Well. He tries to gather his composure.]

Thank you for asking. And...

[This feels like he's overstepping his bounds, but it's not as if he even knows where they are.]

Please take the precautions you need to take, should it get to be anything more.

What do you mean?

... Oh, you mean like condoms?

[She's used condoms like twice in her life.]

Yes.

[He's done enough reading by now, particularly since she told him about her imprisonment, to know what he's talking about.]

I don't know, there aren't a lot of people I'd want to have sex with here. You know, I think most of the guys are gay? And then there's some that are a lot older and some others that ain't even my type.

[He realises he's thinking 'thank God for that' in the same way that a parent might not want most men they know courting their daughter, even if those men are basically decent.]

Well, it's not compulsory.

You mean condoms aren't? Okay, good.

No, I mean it's not compulsory to - be intimate, that way.

[How is this his life now.]

Taking precautions if you do, that is compulsory. And I'm saying that as a physician, not your warden.

... Oh. I know; I know that. I don't think it's compulsory.

Alright.

[Now let's never speak of it again.]

Did you speak with Doctor Cambridge?

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