IC contact for lastvoyages

[tucky]

[If I don't have an active post up, feel free to use this post to have your character call, videochat, text, or knock on Tiffany's door.]

Comments

[tucky]

I was a danger to him, just not on purpose.

[characterdefect]

Then why's he so pissed?

[tucky]

Because it still happened even though it was an accident. But... I don't know how to explain it without telling you what happened, and I can't do that.

... What's something you like to do that ain't a big deal or a secret? Like maybe a food you like to eat a lot. Do you have anything like that?

[characterdefect]

[Well, where is this going, now.]

I like steak, I guess.

[tucky]

Okay, so it’s like you and steak, right. It’s like if I told somebody “Roderick really likes to eat steak”, ‘cause it’s just something you do and I don’t got any reason to think it’s a big deal. But then later I found out it was a big deal, and by telling somebody that you like steak, I was putting you and other people in a lot of danger.

I know that still doesn’t make sense. But I wouldn’t’ve said nothing if it seemed weird or big, and it didn’t. It just seemed like a normal thing that would never be important or a secret, and he never fucking told me it was or said I needed to keep quiet about it.

So I’m kinda mad at him about that. It was my fault, but I feel kinda like it was his fault, too. And he was so mad, and he ain’t never gonna forgive me now. He can be wonderful and kind and understanding, but he... he can be hard and cold, too, and I’m pretty sure if somebody messes up with him, he’s done with ‘em forever. He seems like that kind of person to me.

[characterdefect]

I'd forgive you if you messed up. And I wouldn't lie to you like that. You don't deserve that shit.

[tucky]

He didn't lie, he just... didn't tell me. And that's okay; he doesn't have to tell me everything.

But I wouldn't've told someone else if I knew it was important.

[characterdefect]

It seems like a lie to me. Something important like that.

[tucky]

There's a word for a lie that's only a lie 'cause you're leaving something out, right? Maybe it was that.

[characterdefect]

It's called a lie of omission. And it's still wrong.

[tucky]

Nah. I don't expect everybody to tell me everything. I just feel like it's his fault too, and mine, 'cause he didn't tell me it was a secret. Does that make any sense?

[characterdefect]

. . . Guess so. I'm just always going to take your side.

[tucky]

[She smiles shakily, sniffling.]

I like having someone who's always gonna take my side. It makes me feel safe.

[characterdefect]

You're safe with me.

[The truth, although admittedly a weird truth. He resumes stroking her hair.]

I'm sorry something like this happened to you.

[tucky]

So many somethings have happened to me. I feel like all of them wouldn't've happened if I weren't so stupid.

[characterdefect]

You're not stupid, sweetheart. Don't say you are.

[tucky]

You're just saying that 'cause you like me, Roderick.

[characterdefect]

I'm saying it 'cause it's true. I don't like you saying bad things about yourself because I like you, though.

[tucky]

If I weren't stupid, Roderick, I wouldn't always be saying and doing the wrong things.

[characterdefect]

I don't think you're stupid. I think you're brave. You're always trying to do things for people, more than most folks would. Sometimes it doesn't work, because nothing's gonna work every time.

[tucky]

I got attacked 'cause of the way I did something. I lost one of my friends 'cause of something I said. I made another one of my friends real upset because I said something else the wrong way. And that was all in, like, one week. That ain't stupid, Roderick? I think it's stupid.

[characterdefect]

[He doesn't have an answer for that. Just shakes his head mutely and pulls her close, pressing her head to his chest, rocking her slightly. All the ways he says I love you without saying it.]

[tucky]

[She lets out a short sob, curling her fingers into his shirt.]

I am so scared of messing everybody up. I'm scared everybody I love is gonna be worse off from having known me.

[characterdefect]

I'm better for having known you.

[So much better. Too much better, maybe. His fingers grip hard on her shoulder.]

[tucky]

You might be the only one, you know?