tucky | ♻ 018 | text/video

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You don't feel much different from a warden as you did as an inmate.

[He rubs his thumbs over the backs of Tiffany's hands, frowning]

An' you, you're not leaving?

Nope. I'm gonna stay here.

You're not disappointed in me, are you? 'Cause I don't feel different neither; I'm still the same person. I ain't gonna start acting different.

[Mason lifts Tiffany up off her feet, wrapping her up in a tight bear hug]

Mmph. Mm mm mm.

Good job, Tiffy. I am proud of you. So fuckin' proud.

[She laughs, and lets him, throwing her arms around him in return.]

I'm so glad you're not mad.

[She knows Merlin is going soon, and she knows she's going to have a really hard time with that; she wants Mason to be one of the people she can lean on when that happens.]

[Giving a grin back, Mason continues to hold up Tiffany in his arms, turning a small circle with her]

Well, I am a bit jealous, mind. You've only been here half as long as me. But it's not the end of the world, really. I like staying on the Barge.

[She chuckles a little as he twirls her, giving him a kiss on the cheek.]

Me too; it's why I'm not going. There's more for me here than there is anywhere else.

And you don't have to be jealous. You're one of the reasons it happened to me so fast, you know.

I feel the same way, my darling.

Augh, yes, but this way you can get us both into the pub now whenever we like.

... Yeah. I was thinking about that; about what I'd say if you asked. And that's kinda the same thing as me sneaking you out alcohol, right? And I decided a while ago that I didn't wanna do that again.

....whuh?

You mean you won't even coax open the door for your good friend Mason, who's never done a thing wrong to you in the world?

What if I won't? What if I just wanna have everything stay the same with you and me? No warden lectures or punishments, but no special favors neither.

I don't know, Mason. It's hard to know what I wanna do. I got drug problems of my own, and it hurts me to know you got them, too.

...Yes, but it's not a problem if you've got it under control.

I know.

[But she doesn't know if he does have it under control. She'd like to think he does, and hanging out with him drunk at the party had been fun. But she remembers some of the things he's said in the past that made her think he wasn't all too happy with his drug and alcohol use - telling her he was wrong to have asked her to let him into the pub, calling himself a drunk, saying she wouldn't like him if she saw him at his lowest, when he was using.

She tucks her head against his shoulder so he can't see the confused, worried, and hurt look on her face.]

[He huffs a little, but Mason too sinks into silence, troubled by this recent turn of events for reasons he can't articulate. He holds Tiffany close, proud of her in his own selfish way but wondering what comes next]

Don't do that to me, is all I'm asking. Don't put me in that position.

Let's just keep everything exactly the same. Okay? I'm not gonna be any different. Please don't be different to me. Please.

I'm not the one who's different, Tiff. You are. You've gone an' graduated. That's different.

[She pulls back enough to look at him.]

But I'm not different. I'm not. I promise. And I don't wanna be treated like I am. I wanna stay like we have been, you and me.

Tiff, you can't stay the same forever. You're different now. You've got to learn to accept that.

[~~And let me into the pub~~]

I'm not. And I'm gonna prove it to you.

[She kisses him on the cheek, then on the lips, and then hugs him tightly again.]

You'll see.

[He nods, looking a little less than convinced, and hugs Tiffany back]

♻ 018 | text/video

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