♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[youwillgotohell]

It's something to aspire to, isn't it?

[tucky]

... Well, not really. Those skills wouldn't be much use back home.

[youwillgotohell]

It was a joke. [She smiles, ducking her head a little.]

I'm glad you're staying.

[tucky]

Me too. I used to be kinda worried the Admiral would kick me off after I graduated. But he must think I'd make a good warden, 'cause he didn't do that.

[youwillgotohell]

At least he gives us the time to decide what to do. [Her mouth twitches to the side.] Though I'm not sure he always knows what a good warden is.

[tucky]

Are you worried he made a mistake with me?

[youwillgotohell]

No, not at all. [Her smile stays small and wry.] You weren't who I was thinking of.

[tucky]

Were you thinking of yourself?

[youwillgotohell]

Some. [It's been months, and she still has no idea what to do for Stephen. Months, and a part of her still hates this place, even if she refuses to leave.]

Not everyone is meant to be good at this. And I don't just mean me.

[tucky]

How can you tell if you are or not, though?

[youwillgotohell]

I'll let you know if I ever figure it out.

[tucky]

... I think you're a good warden. You seem like it to me.

[youwillgotohell]

[She just smiles and ducks her head.]

I'm certain you will be one. [Merlin trusted her, after all. And Morgana is trying very hard to trust Merlin.]

[tucky]

Thanks. I'll try.