tucky | ♻ 018 | text/video

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose you are, there is no helping that I suppose. Forget I said anything then.

... What do you think's gonna happen if I'm not quieter about my feelings?

Most likely nothing, but there are those who would prey on your emotions. Use it as a means to trick you and hurt you in the end, you wouldn't even realize it until it was too late and the damage was done.

Not everyone is worthy of your trust, or friendship.

Well... I don't really trust everybody. I don't trust Arthas, or his zombie girlfriend. I didn't trust you for a while, and I still don't sometimes.

[ A dark look overtakes his face a split second. A crack in his perfect cool mask when she mentions Sylvanas as Arthas' girlfriend. So many things he wants to say, mostly that she is more than a zombie. However he just rolls his eyes a second later.]

You're wise not to trust them, but stop openly speaking against them before you paint a target on your back. They are the exception, I will not protect you from them. And you are smarter than you appear not to always trust me. The difference between me and your average evil, is I admit and accept what I am. It does not stop the fact I have a job to do.

Edited 2015-05-11 14:40 (UTC)

I thought your job was protecting people.

That is what I mean, I maybe evil, but I have a job to do. I do try to do both. To do as I am supposed to do, while doing as I feel like doing. Some people deserve to die and who am I to stop that even if I can?

Like if you knew a junkie, and you COULD stop them from shotting up, would you? Or would you just let them kill themselves with that trash to save yourself the effort of repeating yourself? I would let them die and not even give a damn.

[She goes quiet at that, and a stricken look crosses her face - because she had, in fact, been in that very situation not long ago with a friend. Mason had gotten his hands on some pills, and had wanted to take them; she'd been worried, but hadn't tried to stop him. She'd been that second person, in Vergil's eyes.]

Pick your battles, not all battles are worth the fight.

It was worth it to me, I just didn't do it because I didn't want him to hate me and I knew he couldn't really die anyway.

.......

[ JUDGING LOOK.]

[SAD PUPPY LOOK]

Tiffany...I am not in the business of being involved in your personal life. Is this the man who was drunk in your lap? The one who you are so very clearly smitten with? If so, you had better harden your heart, a junkie always chooses their fix before anything else. He will hurt you, even if you dont see it.

I was a junkie and my whole family's junkies. Most of my friends before prison were junkies. I know that.

A grimdark.

A what?

Someone doomed from the start. Hailing from a bad world or broken home. You do not expect you can be anything because life has messed with you since birth.

He's not doomed and neither am I. I just fucking graduated, and he's one of the most wonderful people I know.

I wont argue your views, I have more than learned that is pointless. I wish you luck in your endeavors with him.

[ He hangs up because he figures their done. Though he does not congratulate her. In his eyes she's failed by letting them win.]

♻ 018 | text/video

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Private cw; drug and death mention

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Private ;cw hints at abuse

Private ;cw hints at abuse

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