tucky | ♻ 007

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♻ 007 | audio

I need to go to Zero. Right now.

[There's the sound of hurried footsteps in the background; she's on her way to the stairs.]

I didn't do nothing and I don't plan to, but I have gotten confirmation that the demons and dark creatures here are after me. I ain't crazy or imagining things, and I ain't looking for signs and messages when there aren't any-- I got told straight out by Doctor Facilier that I pissed 'em off and I'm a goner. I don't know if any place is safe for me now, but I heard Zero's better than most.

[She takes a moment to catch her breath; she's still half-running.]

Please let me down. I wouldn't ask if it weren't an emergency; more important than life or death. It's not my body that's at stake, it's my immortal soul.

[She turns off the public feed and records a series of private messages, partially intended to be goodbye notes if things go badly. She knows people come back from the dead-- but she doesn't know if they come back from having their souls corrupted by creatures from hell.]

[filtered to Cambridge]

I'm gonna have to miss therapy for a while, I think. Unless you can come down to do it.

I know lots of people don't like you, and maybe some of 'em have good reasons; I don't know. But you were good to me and I think a lot about the things you said.

[filtered to Dillon]

You were the first person here who was as nice to me as you were, and that will always be real special to me. For as long as I live, I will never forget that you saw all I was but still liked me anyway. You were right about all the ugly stuff in me, but I been trying to be a little better, and that's because of you.

[filtered to Dillon and Simon]

I need your help-- please. Please. I don't know what to do. Is there a way to get rid of them? Can we cleanse the ship?

[filtered to Iris]

Can you come and visit me sometimes? I think I might be down there for a very long time, and I'm gonna miss you. More than anyone, maybe. If something happens to me, I want you to know that some of the people here have been nicer to me than anyone's ever been, and you were a real big part of that. And I didn't end up hating the Barge, even with all the terrible things.

[filtered to Mason]

In case I don't see you again for a while, or in case they get to me, I hope you don't forget what I said about you being good and being worth a lot-- 'cause I meant every word. You are the best inmate here and one of the best people too, and I won't forget all you did for me.

[filtered to Merlin]

I'm sorry. I tried. I didn't go after 'em again, but they found me anyway. I wanted to do right by you, I really did, but I don't know what's gonna happen now.

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Who, me? [He hesitates, looks at Iris, and decides to go with the simple answer.] Nothing. Which is probably why I ain't been paired for more than a month.

[Iris leans into Tiffany's embrace, stroking her hair; and she looks at Cain now, bright-eyed.

Arguing learning theory and wardening. This is as much why she loves him as anything else.]

A bit. Sometimes. It's mostly that chucking our weight around doesn't teach anyone owt useful. Any bugger can learn obedience if you back 'em far enough into the corner, but 'ow helpful's that when it comes to actually graduating?

Prisons on Earth - in most places, actualy, they're partly about revenge and partly about just getting troublesome folk out of the way. That's not in our job description 'ere; we're 'ere to get people back on their feet. To get 'em to where they can be free without leaving trails of suffering.

And that includes their own, before you say owt. That counts.

[She casts a sideways glance at Tiffany and then back to Cain.]

This next deal's promised to a friend of mine. If 'e dosn't come up with an alternative by the time Ceres gets 'erslf sorted, which I honestly expect 'e will. First one went to save Wade's ex-girlfriend - you remember Vanessa? That blue one that pretended to be me, that flood?

[They haven't talked about what he might do with a deal if - when - he has one, but Iris once said of Lady Shiva: We owe her one. She hasn't, and won't, ever mention it again. The other reason she loves him: she doesn't need to.]

[The look goes completely over her head; she just nods and burrows in closer to Iris's shoulder, enjoying the attention.

She's not wrong about Earth prison. Earth prison had been the very definition of getting the troublesome people out of the way, and Tiffany's glad that the Barge (at least so far) is very, very different.]

I remember you--

[She looks at Cain here.]

-- said I could be a warden someday. But I don't know what my deal would be either. I didn't even know you could give your deals to other people.

[Listening to Iris brings Shiva to mind, something that happens more often than he lets on. For the most part he doesn't feel much guilt for what he did to her; but when he does feel it, it's deep. It's also not something he's going to try to mull over with Tiffany here, so he smiles and shoves his own thoughts as far aside as he can.]

Well it's more like making a wish for 'em. I wouldn't trust a lot of people to do it right. And look, if you don't have a deal in mind, a lot of inmates will have an easier time trusting you, which means you can be a lot more effective, right? If you're here just 'cause you want to help, well, hell, that puts you ahead of most people.

[She nods, taking in his explanation. When she thinks about what she'd ask for if she were a warden, everything that comes to mind is stuff for herself-- but she doesn't scoff at the idea of using it for someone else. All the kindness that's been thrown at her on the Barge has softened her edges a little-- it's been less than two months, but she's still malleable enough that it's made a marked (though, of course, not comprehensive) difference. Having people being nice and doing things for you feels great... but being nice and doing things for other people doesn't feel half bad either. While she'd taken some pride in helping (or "helping") people back in Litchfield, she feels it even more so here.]

I'm not here for that, though. I'm an inmate; I'm here 'cause the Admiral wanted me here.

And you know what? I'm glad he did. Demons and all.

[Iris chuckles softly, not so much for what Tiffany says as for the emotions flashing under her skin like almost-seen minnows.]

It's the biggest kick in the world, making things better. People think it's unselfish, but it's so much fun. Demons and all.

I ever tell you we used to 'ave an actual angel here? Name of Castiel. Same world as Dean. Very interesting bloke. Ever so strange.

[She pulls away from Iris a little and sits up on her elbows, wide-eyed.]

You're serious? A real angel? And you got to meet him?

[He must have been a warden, obviously. What else would an angel have been?]

[Cain is skeptical, and his expression shows it.]

Where I'm from, no angel could've ever ended up here. Makes it hard to believe the genuine article was here.

You think he was lying about what he was?

[She looks from Iris to Cain; Cain to Iris.]

I mean, it he was really an angel, he must've made a deal. Was here willingly, you know.

[Iris reaches into her drink for an ice cube, which she lobs at Cain for appearing to doubt her word.]

No, 'e was the genuine article right enough. You couldn't meet Castiel and mistake 'im for any sort of mortal thing. Said 'e were 'ere 'cause God wanted 'im 'ere and it weren't in 'is nature to argue.

Seemed to me an angel's very like one of our timeships. An extradimensional thing bound into a material body to do its work, basically; and my bus certainly recognised 'im as a bird of a feather and all. They used to chat away like mad. Sort of adorable, actually.

Wow.

[She grins at Iris throwing the ice cube at Cain, and grins even wider at the thought of an actual angel showing up on the Barge. It's incredibly disappointing that he's gone, but at least it means the possibility for another one to show up is there.

She settles back against Iris's shoulder, happy and content. Maybe demons can come here... but angels can too.]

That's... that's real amazing.

[Cain grunts, ducks the ice cube. He's forever cynical.]

All I know is no angel I ever heard about would need to do this shit to get done what needed doing. But he ain't here, so it doesn't much matter anymore.

Getting Dean to tell the difference between Hell and the Barge, that's a miracle I could use.

Which Dean?

[Is she in on warden gossip hour? She hopes she's in on warden gossip hour.]

You talking about the fucking dickhole who tries to fight people over how they hold their eating knives?

The only Dean we've got. And you won't, my love; Dean brought hell in with 'im and 'e's not ready to put it down yet.

[Because Iris is leaning against Tiffany, because she's in contact, the weight of nearly unbearable sadness that comes with the thought of this Dean may be apparent, although she doesn't show it in her face or voice.]

Just 'ave 'is back when it's needed and don't ask 'im for owt, that's 'ow I'm tackling Dean. 'E's at least as stubborn as you are, I don't fancy seeing you two facing off again.

'E's 'ad a rough time of it, Tiffany love. Did 'e actually hurt you?

[She feels that sadness-- but it's confusing to her, because she isn't sure where it's coming from. She shifts a little against Iris's side.]

Nah, not really. He jumped me and pushed me down, but we got pulled apart.

[Cain feels it, too, but feels it personally: it's like grieving for him.

And what do we do with grieving? Put it in a box and push on until you have time to deal with it. Which will probably be after he retires from Wardening.]

Stick close with someone when you are around him. I try not to treat him like a rabid dog but that's basically what he is right now.

I used to think the Admiral doesn't bring on lost causes, but then he brought on Hannibal. So who the fuck knows if Dean even has anything in him that wants to be saved.

[She scoffs.]

I ain't scared of him. He ain't even that big.

Who's Hannibal?

[She mentally files away the bit about lost causes, to ask about later.]

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, Tiffany lovey; it's the size of the fight in the dog. I know you're a scrapper, mind you; I know you're brave. But Dean's been in literal hell. The exact Hell you worry about. There's nowt left of 'im but fight right now; and 'e doesn't believe 'e's worth saving.

[She sighs.]

That's what we're trying to get through. It's slow work, as you can imagine. Hannibal Lecter, Cain's talking about. We've 'ad two versions of 'im here and all, and the first one did graduate, you know. 'E was a doctor, though I never liked to call 'im that. An intelligent, perceptive man that didn't see any value in other people except as toys - very nasty.

Is Dean a demon? Or...

[Or is he a human like her, who screwed up and got punished for it? She's interested in the Hannibal stuff (especially in how there could have been "two versions" of him; what does that mean?), but she has to focus on this first. It's more important.]

[He tries to keep his voice casual.]

No. No, he's just...a man who's been kicked down one too many times. I'm sure you've seen what that does to a person.

Yeah, I have.

[But not to Dean levels, though of course she doesn't know that.]

I've met plenty of people like that. Been like that myself, sometimes.

'E's been the wrong end of a lot of supernatural nasties, mind you, but no - Dean's as human as you are, lovey.

This is the second version of 'im we've 'ad here and all. The one we got to know 'ad won most of 'is fights against the odds. This one - this is the one that fought just as 'ard and lost.

[She frowns, trying to figure out how that would work.]

So he... won a lot, then went home and lost a lot? And then came back?

Kind of. The guy who was here before, you might as well consider him a different kid than the one here now. That's how he wants it.

Anyway the first guy, he was my Warden. Good guy. Tough as nails, but confident that he could win the day, you know? This one's tough as nails but he's convinced that he's in hell. Literally. So there's no reaching him 'cause he thinks he's already damned.

This isn't hell.

[She's very quick to say that.]

And I don't-- we're not damned. Not just 'cause we're here, anyway.

♻ 007 | audio

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