tucky: (I found out what's in the special sauce)
Tiffany Doggett ([personal profile] tucky) wrote2015-01-30 11:29 am

♻ 005 | video/text

[Even with the flood over, Tiffany is clearly not well: she's exhausted, broken down, and subdued. Half of her wants to climb into bed and sleep forever; the other half of her is still screaming that she should never sleep again.

But before she does either, she has one public message and several private messages to send.]


If those were really real, I guess there was only one dream about me, because I only... died once. It was at night, out in the snow, and it was cold; there was a prissy-looking blonde lady. I went after her and then she came after me.

Anyone get that one?

[She's not crazy about the idea of people dreaming her life, but if they did, she wants to know about it.]

[warden filter]

I just wanted to say, you don't got to worry about me hurting people anymore. I got it all outta my system.

[She doesn't think about the fact that some (or even most) of the people she's addressing might not have any idea what she's talking about. She just assumes that since they're all wardens, they share most of their information.]

I didn't even do it 'cause I was mad this time; I did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Sometimes… sometimes I look for messages from God too much.

[She offers a wan little smile, clearly forced.]

That guy is a real demon, though; I don't know if y'all know that. He admitted it to me himself. But I know God didn't actually tell me to kill him. I know. Maybe He didn't even tell me to kill that woman back in Litchfield, neither. I've been thinking about that, and...

[... And that's kind of off-topic. She trails off.]

So I won't do it again. No more killing for God.

[Probably. Maybe. She does genuinely mean it when she says that, but that doesn't mean that she won't change her mind later... or that she won't attack someone for completely different reasons, the way she did at least once before she found religion.

Now, though, she just shakes her head, looking down at her hands.]


It didn't even work, anyway. Nothing worked. The dreams stayed.

[filtered to Anya and the Admiral]

I broke the bed. I'm real sorry.

[And she does look sorry. In fact, she looks far more guilty when she talks about this than she looked when she talked about trying to murder Vergil. Her cabin's bed is one of the nicest things anyone has ever given her, and yet she purposefully damaged it. She's practically in tears.]

I understand if you're mad at me, but it weren't because I didn't appreciate it. I was-- I was having a lot of problems, and I needed something sharp, so I took a piece of wood off the headboard. But it still looks real nice; it's just a little banged up, is all. If I can sand it down I can fix it some, maybe.

I still love it, and I don't want you to think I don't. That's all.

[filtered to Barbara, Dillon, Duke, Horatio, Iris, Mason, Merlin, Simon, and Tig]

"May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this." Samuel 2:6.

[filtered to Mason and Tig]

Especially you, 'cause you ain't wardens and it weren't your job to try and help me, but you did it anyway. Thank you.

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]
lydiascreams: (mock fake smile neutral stare open)

[Wardens]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-07 07:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, I see. What type of [advice? She's trying really hard not to sound bad here.] message have you been given before?
lydiascreams: (Pursing lips awkward unsure neutral open)

[Wardens]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-09 08:33 pm (UTC)(link)
And you did it. but you don't believe he'd tell you to kill anyone else anymore?
lydiascreams: (questioning upset unsure stare open)

[Wardens]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-10 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry it went badly for you. But I'm glad you didn't hurt her.

[Lydia pauses, cocks her head.]

What's your name?
lydiascreams: (Questioning stare talking)

[Wardens]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-11 06:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Lydia Martin.

[Her answer doesn't make a whole lot of sense to her, though.]

Why Dillon and Simon? How do you think they can help?
lydiascreams: (mock smile upset neutral sigh open)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-19 06:57 am (UTC)(link)
[She hesitates, and switches to private.] I'm not religious. But I have some experience with getting messages about things that haven't happened yet.

I don't know how it works, exactly. But I'd like to know more about what you've experienced.
lydiascreams: (Looking up watching neutral)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-20 11:35 am (UTC)(link)
No, I don't. [And feeling like she's losing it because of voices in her head is something she's very familiar with.]
lydiascreams: (gasp scared unsure upset open questionin)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-21 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)
But what makes you think it's a sign and not just something that happened? Does it feel any differently?
lydiascreams: (Unsure open exposed awkward no control)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-23 03:24 am (UTC)(link)
Are you starting to think they weren't signs at all? Maybe just something you wanted to do at the time?
lydiascreams: (Neutral smile looking up)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-23 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
He can still talk to you without it being him telling you to do something. [Isn't that what religious people believe? That God can talk through their actions?]
lydiascreams: (Lost open upset stare neutral)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-24 05:35 am (UTC)(link)
You mean he talks through the bible. [That'd be nice. Reading things instead of having voices in her head.]
lydiascreams: (mock fake smile neutral stare open)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-24 10:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Maybe you can use the bible as guidance instead of law? All the information He could say to you is there, right? Read it and live by it, but try to apply the context to your life instead of being ruled by it.
lydiascreams: (fake smile neutral thoughtful mock quest)

[Private]

[personal profile] lydiascreams 2015-02-25 06:15 am (UTC)(link)
No, I'm not religious. [Even if she can't call herself an atheist, either. Not with everything she's seen.]

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