![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
♻ 005 | video/text
[Even with the flood over, Tiffany is clearly not well: she's exhausted, broken down, and subdued. Half of her wants to climb into bed and sleep forever; the other half of her is still screaming that she should never sleep again.
But before she does either, she has one public message and several private messages to send.]
If those were really real, I guess there was only one dream about me, because I only... died once. It was at night, out in the snow, and it was cold; there was a prissy-looking blonde lady. I went after her and then she came after me.
Anyone get that one?
[She's not crazy about the idea of people dreaming her life, but if they did, she wants to know about it.]
[warden filter]
I just wanted to say, you don't got to worry about me hurting people anymore. I got it all outta my system.
[She doesn't think about the fact that some (or even most) of the people she's addressing might not have any idea what she's talking about. She just assumes that since they're all wardens, they share most of their information.]
I didn't even do it 'cause I was mad this time; I did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Sometimes… sometimes I look for messages from God too much.
[She offers a wan little smile, clearly forced.]
That guy is a real demon, though; I don't know if y'all know that. He admitted it to me himself. But I know God didn't actually tell me to kill him. I know. Maybe He didn't even tell me to kill that woman back in Litchfield, neither. I've been thinking about that, and...
[... And that's kind of off-topic. She trails off.]
So I won't do it again. No more killing for God.
[Probably. Maybe. She does genuinely mean it when she says that, but that doesn't mean that she won't change her mind later... or that she won't attack someone for completely different reasons, the way she did at least once before she found religion.
Now, though, she just shakes her head, looking down at her hands.]
It didn't even work, anyway. Nothing worked. The dreams stayed.
[filtered to Anya and the Admiral]
I broke the bed. I'm real sorry.
[And she does look sorry. In fact, she looks far more guilty when she talks about this than she looked when she talked about trying to murder Vergil. Her cabin's bed is one of the nicest things anyone has ever given her, and yet she purposefully damaged it. She's practically in tears.]
I understand if you're mad at me, but it weren't because I didn't appreciate it. I was-- I was having a lot of problems, and I needed something sharp, so I took a piece of wood off the headboard. But it still looks real nice; it's just a little banged up, is all. If I can sand it down I can fix it some, maybe.
I still love it, and I don't want you to think I don't. That's all.
[filtered to Barbara, Dillon, Duke, Horatio, Iris, Mason, Merlin, Simon, and Tig]
"May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this." Samuel 2:6.
[filtered to Mason and Tig]
Especially you, 'cause you ain't wardens and it weren't your job to try and help me, but you did it anyway. Thank you.
[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]
But before she does either, she has one public message and several private messages to send.]
If those were really real, I guess there was only one dream about me, because I only... died once. It was at night, out in the snow, and it was cold; there was a prissy-looking blonde lady. I went after her and then she came after me.
Anyone get that one?
[She's not crazy about the idea of people dreaming her life, but if they did, she wants to know about it.]
[warden filter]
I just wanted to say, you don't got to worry about me hurting people anymore. I got it all outta my system.
[She doesn't think about the fact that some (or even most) of the people she's addressing might not have any idea what she's talking about. She just assumes that since they're all wardens, they share most of their information.]
I didn't even do it 'cause I was mad this time; I did it because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Sometimes… sometimes I look for messages from God too much.
[She offers a wan little smile, clearly forced.]
That guy is a real demon, though; I don't know if y'all know that. He admitted it to me himself. But I know God didn't actually tell me to kill him. I know. Maybe He didn't even tell me to kill that woman back in Litchfield, neither. I've been thinking about that, and...
[... And that's kind of off-topic. She trails off.]
So I won't do it again. No more killing for God.
[Probably. Maybe. She does genuinely mean it when she says that, but that doesn't mean that she won't change her mind later... or that she won't attack someone for completely different reasons, the way she did at least once before she found religion.
Now, though, she just shakes her head, looking down at her hands.]
It didn't even work, anyway. Nothing worked. The dreams stayed.
[filtered to Anya and the Admiral]
I broke the bed. I'm real sorry.
[And she does look sorry. In fact, she looks far more guilty when she talks about this than she looked when she talked about trying to murder Vergil. Her cabin's bed is one of the nicest things anyone has ever given her, and yet she purposefully damaged it. She's practically in tears.]
I understand if you're mad at me, but it weren't because I didn't appreciate it. I was-- I was having a lot of problems, and I needed something sharp, so I took a piece of wood off the headboard. But it still looks real nice; it's just a little banged up, is all. If I can sand it down I can fix it some, maybe.
I still love it, and I don't want you to think I don't. That's all.
[filtered to Barbara, Dillon, Duke, Horatio, Iris, Mason, Merlin, Simon, and Tig]
"May the Lord now show you kindness and faithfulness, and I too will show you the same favor because you have done this." Samuel 2:6.
[filtered to Mason and Tig]
Especially you, 'cause you ain't wardens and it weren't your job to try and help me, but you did it anyway. Thank you.
[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
I can't speak to who may or may not 'deserve' this kind of thing, but I do know this kind of thing happens a lot around here, and it's not directed at specific people. You've heard the expression "Shit happens?" Well, that's what this was.
[Warden filter]
[Not pleased with this at all, for all the reasons she might expect.]
... You were right about the people, though. A lot of 'em. That part's definitely true.
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
But yes, that's exactly what I mean. We take care of each other, and that makes all of us better people.
[Warden filter]
Is he really a serial killer? He wouldn't tell me for sure.
[Warden filter]
No, he's not a serial killer. [She's not sure what the definition of a serial killer is but she definitely wouldn't call him that.] He likes to shock people. You can only believe half of what he says. [More than half, actually, but she's not going to quibble about percentages.]
[Warden filter]
[Warden filter]
Not on a regular basis]Let's just leave that under the heading of things you might not want to know the answer to.
He really is a wonderful guy though.
[Warden filter]
[She's totally assuming that's a yes.]
Yeah, I... I still feel really bad, but he made me feel a little bit better.
[Warden filter]
I'm glad he did, and I'm sorry you had such a rough time, for what it's worth.
[Warden filter]
[Kind of. A little bit.]
[Warden filter]
[That's what she'd hoping, and not just on Tiffany's behalf. She'd like to figure out a better way to handle it as well.]
[Warden filter]
[But she wonders. This time it was just dreams, after all. Next time it could actually be real.]
The people who've been here a long time seemed normal about it. Iris came to see me and she didn't seem upset at all.