tucky | ♻ 004 | video/spam

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♻ 004 | video/spam

[video]

[After the first night of intense, violent nightmares, Tiffany appears on the network looking alert and wild-eyed. She hasn't gotten much rest, but she's running on adrenalin, so it's not showing just yet.]

Something ain't right here.

I know-- I know y'all like to talk about death a lot. All the inmates are dead, and we died before we came here, and it's because we are vile sinners that we were brought to the Barge instead of ascending to heaven.

[Absolutely no one she's talked to has used the term "vile sinners"; she's adding that bit in on her own.]

And I didn't believe it then, but now-- I understand now; I do. I do. I'm dead and she killed me. She beat me and killed me; knocked out my teeth and probably snapped my neck. I get it, okay? Library girl, pool guy, and Mason were right! And I was wrong. I understand and accept it. I'm ready. So you can stop; I don't need to see anymore. Don't leave me to rot in purgatory. Please--

[Her voice raises suddenly, to a near-shout.]

-- please, please let me in!

[She takes a long, shaky breath, and when she speaks again her voice is quieter.]

Please.

[spam, all week]

[There is definitely something up with Tiffany.

On the first day, it starts small(ish), with her post to the network. She comes out of her room less often than usual, and doesn't show up for meals (not even lunch with Merlin). By day two, she won't be answering calls or texts with anything but apocalyptic Bible verses. By day three, Bibles will start disappearing from the chapel, and shaky, jagged crosses will appear on her cabin door, carved into the wood. Days four and five are going to get ugly, but it'll be mostly internal, because that's when she'll shut down completely: she won't leave her room or look at her phone, she won't eat, she won't even get out of bed. Every sleeping moment will be plagued by gory, horrific nightmares, and every waking moment will be fraught with confusion, grief, and feelings of betrayal. She'll be traumatized, sleep-deprived, and convinced that she's lost the favor of God...

... But she'll be too bone-tired to fight back anymore.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

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[Merlin exhales slowly and pulls her into a proper hug. He's taller than her, broader, and his body folds easily around hers.

He doesn't know what spiritual guidance he can offer. His reading so far has been basic-framework stuff, nothing so deep as to address what's happened to her. To them.]

Shhh. It's a flood, Tiffany. The dreams - that's all they are, they can't hurt you.

God has sent them to me as part of his righteous judgement!

[She sounds desperate; almost hysterical.]

He heard what I said; he heard I doubted what they told me.

[He just holds her, gives her something to lean on, and tries to take stock.

If this is a flood - and the Admiral's announcement suggests it is - this won't be the last of it. There's a few more nights to go, at least. It's...awful. He can't reassure her that they've seen the last of it. Or even that it won't get worse.

He hates this. He hates losing all sense of control to some unseen, unsympathetic force. Again.]

Tiffany. I - I don't think that's what happened.

[She takes a shaky breath, letting her forehead come to rest against his shoulder.]

It is. I have had messages from Him before.

[Not touching that with a bargepole. Not today.]

...It happened to me as well. And I don't think we'll be the only ones.

We're all damned.

[There's real grief in her voice.]

... I want to talk to my lawyer.

He's not here. I'm sorry. What do you think he would he say to you?

[It's not dismissive, not intended to imply that nothing would help; he's just trying to find a way to access whatever comfort she believes he'd offer.]

I know he's not. But he-- he'd help; he always helps.

[Maybe he'd be able to come up with an explanation for all this-- one that didn't involve God turning against her. As it stands, she can't come up with that on her own.]

[He squeezes her shoulder gently - reassuringly, he hopes.]

...I haven't read much of the Bible yet. But from what I have read, it doesn't sound to me like God would abandon anyone.

Then why's he punishing me so hard?

I really don't think it's him, Tiffany. I think it's the Barge.

[He swallows dryly.]

I know it's hard to think that things like this can just...happen, for no reason.

[So much so that it's more tempting to believe that you're being punished by the judgement of a god. At least you've had some influence over that. Earned it somehow.]

But I'm dead.

[She lets out a little sob as she says it, because that fact more than anything is what's breaking her heart. She's dead, and she's not in heaven; ergo, God doesn't want her.]

He's rejected me.

Tiffany...

[He draws back, so he can look her in the face.]

What if it's not rejection? What if he thinks that you're better off back at home, and the Barge is his way of letting you do that?

[She ducks her head, avoiding eye contact.]

So he killed me?

That don't make sense.

No. Whoever killed you, killed you. God lets everyone make their own decisions, doesn't he?

[He's read enough of Genesis to know that. Seems fundamental to the whole affair.]

And she chose to kill you. But that doesn't mean you don't get a second chance.

He does. He does. But--

-- But when His chosen die, they go to heaven. Nowhere else. That's always made real clear.

So maybe you didn't die. Not really. Maybe the Barge took you just before you would have done.

But--

[She wipes at her eyes.]

That's not what everyone says.

Maybe you need to stop listening to 'everyone' and work out what you believe, Tiffany. Here.

[He digs into his pocket, finds a handkerchief for her.]

[She takes it, dabbing at her eyes.]

I just want those dreams to stop.

So do I. For both of us.

[He doesn't seem outwardly shaken by his own misadventures the previous night; there's no point in letting it show. There's been no point in letting anything show for a very long time.]

The last flood only lasted a few days. We can get through this together - you're strong enough for that, I know you are.

I ain't the dreams themselves.

[Though they really are horrible, and will only get more horrible as the nights go on.]

It's what they mean. And I know, I know-- you don't believe they mean that, but I know God, and this is just the kind of sign he'd send.

[Merlin doesn't say anything for a while. With Tiffany, he's learning to pick his battles. Maybe he can't dissuade her from this, but if he can at least put it into her head that the explanation she's settled on isn't the only one possible? Then that is, at least, a start.]

I think this is the flood. I think this is just the flood. I think the reason that it's affecting both of us is that that's what floods do. And from what I've read? I think God would love you too much to do this to you.

What have you read?

[She pulls back a little so she can look at him.]

I wanna know.

Not much. Not yet. [He's not going to lie, can't profess to knowledge he doesn't have.] But he sent his son to Earth, didn't he? To die for everyone's sins, so they could go to Heaven.

♻ 004 | video/spam

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