♻ 002 | spam

[tucky]

[After a few days, Tiffany checks herself out of the infirmary. They were willing to let her go-- except for her teeth, she's mostly healed up; even her bruises are gone-- and she was starting to feel stir crazy, so out she went.

Except now she doesn't know where to go. She knows there's her cabin, but she doesn't want to spend all her time there-- it looks like a Litchfield prison bunk, so it's not the most comfortable place around. She's new, so she doesn't know the best common areas to hang out in. There are a lot of doors, but most of them are unopenable to her. So she wanders.

Despite her bravado and argumentativeness, the things people have been telling her since she arrived-- that she's dead, that she was chosen to be here, that she's here to make amends-- are getting to her. She doesn't fully believe them, but she can't completely disbelieve them either. If they're right (and what if they are?), everything she thought she knew about God and faith and atonement has been turned on its head. There was that man-- that Catholic-- who'd tried to help her reconcile this with what she believed, but it hadn't worked all that well. She's relatively new to her faith, and without someone spoonfeeding it to her, she's shaky in it. She's used it as both a comfort and a crutch in the past, and now she isn't sure that she has it at all anymore. She doesn't know whether that makes her feel depressed or furious; she doesn't know whether she wants to punch someone or curl up and cry. She isn't ruling out doing both.

Predictably, she finds her way to the chapel. Finding a Bible in the cabinet, she sinks down onto a bench and flips through it aimlessly, barely taking in what she's seeing. She tries the trick of opening to a random passage a couple times, but it only ever seems to be just that-- random. Sadness is the overwhelming emotion here-- sadness, confusion, feeling alone and lost. When a teardrop or two lands on the pages, she doesn't bother to brush them away.

At some point, she also wanders into the dining hall, circling the room and poking around for something to do. It's not time for a meal, but the cafeteria was a popular place to hang out and relax in Litchfield, so she figures it might be the same here. Unfortunately, she's leaning towards anger right now, and she's spoiling for a fight. That's not a good thing, on a prison ship filled with inmates just like her.]

[OOC: Permissions post for this character!]

Comments

[punched_hitler]

No, you're right. Sometimes something as simple as turning a blind eye is just as bad, if not worse, than being witness to something horrific.

[And as for asserting any dominance,] I don't see why we should. Wardens have more control over things than inmates, sure, but we all know it. We don't have to prove it.

Besides, might doesn't make right, does it?

[tucky]

Sometimes it might.

[Not that she necessarily wants the guards to push her around and yell and insult her. It's just what she's used to-- and while she's glad it doesn't happen here, she doesn't really understand why it doesn't.

Of course, this all has the unintended consequence of making her wonder if she can get away with more here than she could in Litchfield. Oops.]

[punched_hitler]

Maybe. [His lips flicker up into a thoughtful smile - isn't that why Project Rebirth existed in the first place, in a way? But it's not quite true - he was created to enforce right, not decide what it was.

Although she might not be wrong - she can likely get away with more here than anywhere else, given the amount of freedom she has.] But I think any warden who misuses their power should face consequences, the same as any inmate who gets into trouble should. Isn't that a better system?

[tucky]

Does that really happen? For real?

[punched_hitler]

I've seen it happen, yeah. [There's at least one inmate, here, who used to be a warden.]

I'd hope you'd think you could tell one of us, if someone's giving you a hard time.

[tucky]

You think someone will?

[punched_hitler]

No. And I hope they don't.

But we're just wardens. That doesn't make us perfect.

[tucky]

[Something that's almost the beginnings of a grin passes over her face.]

Should I be afraid of you?

[punched_hitler]

[He smiles, though there's just a hint of wryness to it.] Not unless you really do something to deserve it.

[tucky]

Okay, like what?

["Please tell me what shit I can get away with."]

[punched_hitler]

[Yeah, he suspects you mean something like that.]

Oh, I think I've already written you enough lists for today.

It's not hard to figure out. I promise. [Just act like a reasonable person, and he'll treat you like one.]

[tucky]

Now that ain't fair. What if I do it by accident and don't know it?

[Acting like a reasonable person is hard okay :'( :'( :'(]

[punched_hitler]

If you do it by accident, I'll point it out and you'll learn from it.

If you do it on purpose, then you should know better and I'll probably figure that out, too, eventually.

[He'll lead by example okay?]

[tucky]

Oh.

... So are all the wardens gonna do it like that?

[punched_hitler]

No, we're all a little different.

But I think you'll find that all of them are willing to give you a chance, because that's why you're here. We'd all be pretty awful at our job if we didn't recognize that.

[tucky]

How many chances do I get?

[punched_hitler]

How many do you think you're gonna need?

[tucky]

Well, I don't know just yet, but I like to cover my bases, you know?

[punched_hitler]

Yeah, I'm getting that. [He laughs a little, shaking his head.] It doesn't quite work that way here, though. I mean, it's not about covering your bases or getting off on good behavior. It's about actually changing, and that's something you've got to do on your own.

We can't tell you how to do it, because it's something you have to figure out. I mean - we can help. But you put in all the work, does that make sense?

[tucky]

Yeah, okay. It makes sense.

How do you want me to change?

[punched_hitler]

That depends on what you're in here for. It's different for everyone.

[tucky]

I guess it's because I shot someone, then?

[That was why she was in Litchfield; she figures the same crime landed her here.]

Only I can't un-shoot someone, so I don't know how to change that.

[punched_hitler]

[Ah. Well, he doesn't know if that's it, either, but it's something to go off of.] You guess?

[Because he's shot plenty of people, but he's a warden. Obviously, though, it's different.]

No, you can't. But that's not the point of being here. You don't undo actions, you're right. You undo what made you do them.

[tucky]

If the reasons are the same, I mean. That's what my old sentence was for.

... But I can't undo her disrespecting me, neither.

[CLEARLY, HER HANDS ARE TIED HERE.]

[punched_hitler]

Maybe. I guess I don't know, either. We don't get a file on you until we're assigned permanently.

[Yeah, but... that might be part of the problem?] You plan to shoot everyone who disrespects you, though?