He did good, then. He was always working, whenever I went into the infirmary - always helping people. He was being real selfless.
[Him leading by example had been a big part of why she'd wanted to help so much, too - doing her supply runs, or finding wounded people to bring back.]
Yeah, you never do, do you? I'm always gonna remember that he saved my life during that breach. He gave his life for me. And Mason saved me during the monsters, too.
[She shudders, just a little - because thinking about Mason saving her makes her think about how he'd been attacked in the process, and that memory is still hard on her.]
[Letty listens while she finishes the water; she ends up keeping the empty glass in her hand rather than reaching out again to put it down, rubbing one fingertip along the top. She lets her eyes drift partially closed, and stays quiet and still for a few long moments after Tiffany finishes.
She speaks more quietly when she replies, her voice fractionally smoother at that volume, still rasped.]
Worst part.
I was alone. Both times. Does that make me selfish?
[And though it's true that she's a lot closer to Roderick than she is to Letty, she feels like she should know - because of that closeness, not in spite of it.]
And if I'm gonna be friends with someone I don't wanna lie to myself about them.
Yeah, we're friends, but he's the kind of friend to you that's still important after you find out he's a goddamn psychopath.
[She can't help the way her voice turns ugly, turns bitter; she doesn't try. Anyone that expects her to be happy about what happened, or forgiving this soon after all this bullshit, has got a brand new view on life headed their way.]
[Anger has ever been closer to Letty's heart than fear; she can feel it now, simmering under everything else, and she meant what she said earlier about letting Tiffany decide how much is too much, but it's all she can do to lean on it slow.]
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I... know.
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[She slides her gaze towards Letty, without moving her head.]
Who takes care of you here?
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Merlin did.
Venus. Lloyd.
You.
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Merlin was so good at that. And even though he's gone I still feel like he's taking care of me a little bit, 'cause I remember how he did things.
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[She reflects it back, a little. Reaches for the water again.]
'Cause of him, I didn't die sooner. That whole... thing.
Demons. Whatever.
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Did he help you then, or when Arthas's monsters were here?
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[It's not entirely self-deprecating, just honest.]
Monsters. One damn near took my arm off. Would've jumped my shit.
He stopped it, then healed me.
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He did good, then. He was always working, whenever I went into the infirmary - always helping people. He was being real selfless.
[Him leading by example had been a big part of why she'd wanted to help so much, too - doing her supply runs, or finding wounded people to bring back.]
... You die, in that?
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I didn't. 'Cause of him. I never forgot that.
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[She shudders, just a little - because thinking about Mason saving her makes her think about how he'd been attacked in the process, and that memory is still hard on her.]
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She speaks more quietly when she replies, her voice fractionally smoother at that volume, still rasped.]
Worst part.
I was alone. Both times. Does that make me selfish?
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To see it. Maybe get hurt too. Just so I don't have to die alone.
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I liked not being alone when I died in the laundry room. Getting touched after, getting my face kissed.
I hope if it ever happens to you again you don't have to be alone, Letty.
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[She shifts a little, brings her free hand up to pat the back of Tiffany's on her knee.]
Stay a while?
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I'll stay as long as you want.
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Thank you.
I feel like I got an engine block dropped on my head.
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He's your friend.
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[And though it's true that she's a lot closer to Roderick than she is to Letty, she feels like she should know - because of that closeness, not in spite of it.]
And if I'm gonna be friends with someone I don't wanna lie to myself about them.
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[She can't help the way her voice turns ugly, turns bitter; she doesn't try. Anyone that expects her to be happy about what happened, or forgiving this soon after all this bullshit, has got a brand new view on life headed their way.]
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I'm not saying I blame you. Or blame Lloyd, for going after him. He deserved it.
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I didn't do anything to him.
[Anger has ever been closer to Letty's heart than fear; she can feel it now, simmering under everything else, and she meant what she said earlier about letting Tiffany decide how much is too much, but it's all she can do to lean on it slow.]
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I'm sorry.
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