♻ 018 | text/video

[tucky]

[filtered to Dillon, Iris, Mason, and Simon]

[Everyone on this filter gets the same message, sent separately.]

Can you come see me? I need to talk to you.

[Then, after a moment, an addition.]

Don't worry its nothing bad.

[video]

[Later, after finishing visiting with and giving her news to the above people, Tiffany sets herself up to make a public announcement. She sits cross-legged on her bed, turns on the recorder... and suddenly realizes that she has no idea how she wants to say this.]

I...

... There's a Bible verse that I like. It goes like this: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

[She isn't reading it off of anything; she's memorized it. Considering the last verse she took the time to memorize was about smiting God's enemies for Him, this is an improvement.]

If you know me much at all you probably know I'm a big believer in God. And when I first learned about Him, it was the best deal I ever heard of. I'd never been a part of anything before; never been in anybody's fold. But here I was, learning about somebody who'd love me, and give me a reason to be - I wanted that, you know? Who wouldn't? Feeling like you're loved is the nicest thing.

But then I came here, and I learned that being loved is only part of what's important. You gotta love back, honestly and truly. And I do. I have met the most amazing people and made the most amazing friends, and I wouldn't trade any of you for anything. I told Dr. Cambridge a while ago that I got a lot of hate in my heart sometimes, and that's true. I used to like showing it around a lot. But on the Barge I learned that I got a lot of love in my heart too, and I like showing that around even more.

So what I really meant to say is that I graduated, and it's 'cause of y'all, and I love you very much. Even the people I don't like I kind of love a little bit right now.

[She almost adds Except Arthas here, but bites her tongue.]

But especially the people I like; the people who have helped me. And some of you feel the same way and some of you don't, and that's okay, because love is not self-seeking and me feeling it is enough.

[Pause.]

I'm gonna stay. I'm gonna be a warden. It's kinda scary to me, but I'm doing it. I don't always like how it is on the Barge and last month I was thinking maybe I'd leave, but... I can't do that. It's like my home, now.

That's all.

[And she ends the feed.]

Comments

[versusnurture]

Congratulations. [She's grinning wide, after their last conversation; wants to reach through the phone and hold Tiffany close, just for a minute.]

[tucky]

Hey.

You helped me. I know I don't know you much, but all that was for you, too.

[versusnurture]

Really? I helped?

[private]

[tucky]

You were the first person I told what I did. Really told.

[private]

[versusnurture]

. . . Why me?

[private]

[tucky]

I don't know. You asked.

I just felt like telling someone, I guess. In my own words, of my own will.

[private]

[versusnurture]

You told it really well.

[private]

[tucky]

I did?

Thanks. It kinda feels weird to say thanks about that, but... thanks.

[private]

[versusnurture]

It's important to know how to tell your story. There's a lot of power in a story.

There was a woman who was going to help me tell my story, back home, before I died. But I think I can tell it on my own now, and so can you.

[private]

[tucky]

But not to everybody, I don't think. There's some people I don't want to tell.

[private]

[versusnurture]

That's okay. Not everybody has to know. That's another power of a good story, is knowing when to keep it to yourself and when to share.

[private]

[tucky]

Except it's not really a good story.

[private]

[versusnurture]

It's a powerful one. That's what I meant. It's yours.

[private]

[tucky]

Yeah.

That woman I killed - I'm gonna save her life. That's gonna be my deal.

[private]

[versusnurture]

It's a good deal. It's good that you're staying. I can't . . .

I don't think I can.

[private]

[tucky]

'Cause of how the Barge is?

[private]

[versusnurture]

No. I love it here. I don't want to leave.

What's it called - unfinished business? I have that.

[private]

[tucky]

You could do it and then come back.

[private]

[versusnurture]

Maybe I will. Someday. But this place can't be my home.

I have a lot of respect for you, though. For what you're going to do here. You're going to be somebody's Ben.

[private]

[tucky]

... I might not be. I might never get paired up, or I could suck at it.

[private]

[versusnurture]

You won't. You'll be amazing.

[private]

[tucky]

How do you know?

[private]

[versusnurture]

Because I think I've become a pretty good judge of character.

[private]

[tucky]

If I'd met you in, like, January, I probably would've insulted you.

[private]

[versusnurture]

But you didn't, and you didn't. You made me feel really human and normal instead of doing that.