tucky | ♻ 008 | audio/spam

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♻ 008 | audio/spam

[audio]

Um-- hey. I was wondering if a warden could go to my room, and get me my iPod and my Bible-- 'cause I ain't in there right now, I'm in the infirmary. Maybe a pack of cards, too; that'd be good.

[She sounds woozy and tired, but surprisingly calm; in good spirits, even. She and Merlin were both killed by kaiju, it had been traumatic, and she's death-tolling-- but she's tired of panicking and stressing about death. Even though she's more used to the idea now, it still bugs her a lot when she thinks about it, so she's actively trying not to do that. It's working pretty well, all things considered. She's not in denial about it the way she used to be, but she's careful to keep her mind focused on other things.

The toll itself sucks, though. It feels kind of like getting the flu after being run over by a steamroller.]

My head ain't right for poker or anything, but if anyone wants to play... I don't know, like Go Fish or something, you can come on down. I wanna see y'all, 'cause I think I'm gonna be stuck in here for a little bit. But that's only if I like you; if I don't, you can fuck off.

... And I also want everybody to know that my warden saved my life.

[And then she'd died right after, but that's not the important part.]

When we were still normal, he said he'd fight monsters for me, and he did. I know we thought we was different people and everything, but I think it still counts for something. He's a hero. A real hero.

[There's a smile in her voice; there's pride. She's been called a hero herself before, by her misguided fan club back at home. But she's never had anyone be a hero for her-- at least, not in the traditional way, where they physically defended her in the face of evil. She doesn't consider herself defenseless by any means, but being protected-- being valued like that-- is such a good feeling, and she's tickled pink by it. She's pushing the fact that he actually died in the process out of her mind, and just focusing in on the good.]

I just wanted to say that. That's all.

[Feed off.]

[spam, all week]

[She'll be staying at the infirmary throughout the worst of her death toll, spending most of her time in bed. For the first few days, she'll be lying down a lot: listening to her music, occasionally chatting up visitors and clinic staff, and when she's not too sore or nauseous, trying to recruit people to play cards with her (simple, easy games that don't require a lot of thought or quick movement). As the days go on and she starts feeling better, she'll sit up in bed more, and even get up and move around some. By the fifth day, she'll still be feeling the death toll's affects, but they'll be lessened and she'll be ready to go. But if by that point Merlin's still in and doesn't feel the same way, she'll stick around until he's ready to leave too. Solidarity.]

[OOC: Merlin gets blanket rights to pop into action threads and overhear her side of audio/video phone stuff, even locked conversations! Others who are working/staying in the infirmary can do this too, if they want. If you want your character to talk to Tiffany but want them to say something Merlin/others shouldn't overhear, we can have them do it in text, or set the conversation at a time when people are sleeping and/or not around.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Mm-hm.

[She pulls a card, accidentally dropping two others face-up onto the bed as she does so.]

Oops. Don't peek; don't cheat.

[She scoops up the errant cards and slides the three over to him.]

[Merlin very studiously looks away until she's gotten her cards gathered.]

Thank you.

[He tucks the cards into his hand.]

You...you didn't need to say what you said, Tiffany. About me.

Yeah, but I wanted to, though. I still can't believe what you did for me. It was... you know, selfless.

But it wasn't me. It wasn't us.

[He shakes his head.]

I know this time we weren't...unlike how we normally are. But it might not be that way next time.

[And he knows they don't have the luxury of thinking there won't be a next time.]

Oh.

[She fiddles with the edge of her blanket, looking down.]

But you said you'd do what he did, so I thought...

I would. I would. I just....

[He exhales slowly.]

Next time, I might be a worse person. I might be terrible to you. And...I don't want you to credit me for someone else's bravery, any more than I'd want you to blame me for their cruelty.

It was still us, though, I think. We just had different memories.

[He brings up a good point, though-- would she blame him for doing something bad to her in a flood? She doesn't think she would, but she can't be completely sure.]

They had lives that made them people like ourselves. But different lives...

[Might make them different people. Worse people.]

Or... they were us, and they just had lives that made them a little different.

... It felt like me. When I remember it, I don't feel like it was someone else.

Nor do I.

[Which is simultaneously disturbing and a relief, because he'd hate to imagine some other Tiffany and Merlin in some strange world, both dead, having found each other after so long.

His head hurts too much to think about it too hard. He nods at the stack of cards between them.]

Your turn.

You got my three. You get to ask me again and again until I have to tell you "go fish".

[She sounds a little more subdued, and preoccupied.]

Oh - sorry. [Yeah, he's not an expert yet. He inspects his hand.] Kings?

Nope-- go fucking fish. Now it's my turn.

[She watches him carefully as he draws from the deck, then pipes up again.]

I wanna feel good about that flood; that's the thing. I don't want to feel bad, or upset. I want to feel like I gained something, and what I gained was... was knowing that someone thought I was worth something. Worth enough to do that.

Oh.

[He glances up at her, and he's too tired to shutter away the guilt. She's probably handling this better than he is and he's undermining that, or at least he fears that he is.]

You are. You are worth that. I - I would never want you to feel otherwise.

I never had a lot of that before, you know? Before I came here most people didn't give me the time of day. Lots of people thought I was worthless. And when they did think I was somebody, it was because they believed I was a savior of the unborn or someone who could talk to God better than them. And I liked that; I did. Knowing everybody was looking at me-- it made me feel good.

But y'all here? I didn't have to do nothing to make you like me. You just did. And I... I like that better, I think. I want that to be real.

[She looks up at him, card game momentarily forgotten again.]

So thank you. And if it's all the same to you, I would like to call you a hero.

[Merlin can't do this.

Nobody has ever called him a hero. He's saved thousands of lives, he's disposed of threats which could have been the ruin of entire kingdoms, he's been the only thing between peace and disaster - and nobody called him a hero. Hardly anyone ever even knew. And while he accepted years ago that he would never be recognised for what he did, it never stopped hurting.

Now Tiffany is calling him a hero and it's for something he didn't even do.

He wants to hide somewhere. He wants to scream and cry and throw things. He wants to just collapse into a corner and never emerge from it.

But Tiffany needs him, and he can't let the cracks show.]

Then...thank you.

[He sets down his cards and reaches across the bed, offering a hand.]

[She grins and takes it, squeezing, completely oblivious to all the turmoil going on inside of him.]

You're very welcome.

[He smiles back at her. It's tired but genuine, insofar as he's happy that she's happy. He squeezes back, then lets go.]

You are somebody, Tiffany.

Thank you.

[She knows she's repeating herself; she doesn't care. She gives him another smile before looking back at her cards.]

Got any, uh, twos?

[He's pretty sure he doesn't, but he checks all the same.]

...Go fish.

[He says it as courteously as it can possibly be said.]

[Drawing a card!]

You get any visitors while I was sleeping? Friends or anything.

[She's realized she doesn't really know who his friends are, while he knows all about a lot of hers because she's constantly marveling over how amazing Iris, Dillon, et al are.]

Letty visited, and Venus. Luna brought some books for me.

[He's aware that his social circle seems quite a lot smaller than hers.]

How about you?

I like Venus.

[She doesn't recognize the other two names, though she has briefly met Letty before.]

Duke brought me hot chocolate, and Steve brought me some stuff from my room. And another guy dropped by too; I've talked to him a couple times but I don't know his name.

[Merlin's a little bemused by that, but there's no harm in it. She'll find out his name eventually.]

Has Mason visited?

[It's mild, curious.]

No; why do you ask?

[She plays with a strand of her hair, biting back a little smile.]

I kinda hope he does, though. That'd be nice.

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