♻ 023 | audio

[tucky]

[warden filter]

[After her conversation with Omar, Tiffany thinks. And thinks. And thinks. And then she comes to the conclusion that she really sucks at thinking, because she isn't coming up with any answers. So she does what she often does - she turns to the network.]

What if you get the Admiral to give something to somebody - something that they really want, and that's important for them to learn to use right, and that makes 'em happier than you have ever seen them before. But to get him to do it, you have to promise to give up something big, and that something's gonna affect any inmate you get someday. And, uh...

[... This hypothetical thing really isn't working, is it.]

Okay. Here's what happened.

I asked the Admiral if he would please give somebody back their powers in the Enclosure. He said that was a big thing and I already asked for too much, when I could grant wishes and stuff. I said if he did this one thing I wouldn't ask for anything more, ever again. He said okay.

I... I'm not just looking for y'all to tell me that I made the right choice. I don't think.

[But then again, she kind of really does want to be told that she made the right choice, so who knows.]

But I was thinking, if I get an inmate someday, what're they gonna do if I can't get anything from the Admiral for them? And I was talking to this guy who got real mad at me about this, 'cause I know it's gonna cause problems but I'm still not telling the Admiral I changed my mind. He said I should. And if I'm thinking about the inmate I'll have someday, I guess he's right. But I'm... not going to. I will not do that to the person I made the deal for.

[Which she feels sure of, but also guilty about.]

But I do wanna find a solution that makes it so I ain't fucking over anyone I get paired with, and so I thought maybe some of y'all might have ideas. Can you get stuff without asking the Admiral? Important stuff?

I fucked up. I don't think I made a bad decision, but I still fucked up. And I wanna do better.

Thank you.

Comments

[anewlanguage]

I've had other people help ask for stuff, when I couldn't ask or was too...eh. You know me. [He hates asking for help, and makes no apologies about his pride.] And yeah, some things you can get without the Admiral, if you ask around. People have all kinds of things stashed from Ports. I think you and your inmate'll be fine.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think you oughta go back on a deal with the Admiral. He's capricious as hell already.

[tucky]

I'm not planning to go back on it anyway. It's like I said - I ain't gonna do that to the person I made it for.

You think the Admiral would grant wishes from other people if he knew they were for me?

[anewlanguage]

Well. Maybe not. But you could just tell your inmate to ask someone else for help; then you wouldn't be involved and the Admiral couldn't turn it on you.

[tucky]

You don't think it's wrong to make my inmate have to go to somebody else?

[anewlanguage]

I think for a lot of inmates it might be good for 'em. They'd have to reach out to people, learn to work with 'em, you know?

And besides, you made a decision to help someone and it had consequences. Nothing wrong with learning how to work with those consequences.

[tucky]

That's what I'm trying to do.

I hope if I get an inmate, they understand that, too.

[irishrotter]

Mm... it's not a bad idea for some, but there are inmates I can think of that that wouldn't be good at all for.

[Ivy wouldn't mind, he thinks, if he'd done the same, but it wouldn't help things very much at all either. And there are so many who are so proud and so mistrustful already...]

It might depend on the inmate.

[tucky]

Yeah, I think that's probably right.

I guess I'm gonna have to wait and see who I get.

[irishrotter]

It seems like you already have a lot of people willing to help out on the Admiral's side of things.

Maybe I can help you think of a contingency plan, yeah?

voice only

[fridgetothefire]

He does like his rules.

You can't ask. That's the rule.

voice only

[tucky]

... Okay.

Well, that's better than the other way it could've gone, right?

voice only

[fridgetothefire]

I'm just saying, if he tries not to let anyone else be proxy. I have asked for things for you before, and I never agreed to stop. That's the argument.

Other way how?

voice only

[tucky]

Other way where he says "I'm not gonna grant that 'cause I know it's Tiffany that told you to ask".

[routemistress]

There's also me. And you know I'll 'elp any way I can, my love.

[tucky]

I feel like I'm always very confused now, Iris.

[routemistress]

Aye. Life gets that way, especially in this job. I don't 'ave a longterm solution, not yet, but if it comes to it Cain and me 'ave time machines and I can always go fetch stuff.

Cain's is a bit young to go out on its own yet, or I expect 'e'd've offered the same.

[tucky]

A time machine can be young?

[routemistress]

We only grew it last year.

[tucky]

I didn't know you could grow a time machine.

[punched_hitler]

I think you made the choice you felt was right, and maybe it was right, maybe it wasn't, but I think more people than just that future inmate should respect you for sticking by it.

Nobody can predict the future. But I don't think you've closed every door to helping a future inmate, just because you can't ask the Admiral for things anymore.

[tucky]

I did close some. I gotta recognize that.

[punched_hitler]

Some, sure. I'm not gonna say you didn't.

But definitely not all of them. You've just got to think a little differently, is all.

[tucky]

That's what I'm trying to do right now.

[punched_hitler]

Then I think you'll be fine.

You need anything I can do, just ask. That offer's still good, and it always will be, whether you need me to ask the Admiral for something or you just plain need something I've got.

[tucky]

What have you got?