tucky | ♻ 021 | video/spam

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♻ 021 | video/spam

[Tiffany - looking worn out, but generally fine - is curled up on her couch as she addresses the network today.]

Me and Lourdes were stuck in the Enclosure, and I guess it was for longer than it felt like it was, 'cause there's four days of rabbit shit all over my room and people are saying it's Saturday. But we're okay. It was-- we're okay. I couldn't've done it without her.

Hey. You guys seeing these ghosty things walking around? They barged right in and started grabbing at me when I tried to wish my room clean. Are they part of the flood? Or... or whatever this is.

[She rubs a hand over her face.]

You think they'd mind if we tried to steer the ship again? Let's try it out. Let's all imagine a port with a lot of bars, filled with guys that really wanna get laid. Don't say "that was Paris"; I was still getting laid in Paris.

[Pause.]

Nah, I'm just kidding; don't wish for a new port or nothing. It's a bad idea, trust me; those things are creepy. I'm too fucking tired to deal with 'em. And I'm worried about the rest of y'all, so check in. Especially if you're still missing - Letty was making broadcasts, so I know some of you can get on.

[filtered to Lourdes]

[Once they've been out for a little while, Tiffany shoots Lourdes a follow-up message.]

thanks again

you doing ok

[filtered to Pietro]

[After her conversation with Lourdes, Tiffany shoots off a quick private message.]

you still want your powers back if you could get em right?

[spam]

[After a long rest, Tiffany ventures out of her room and heads out to one of her favorite haunts - the deck. Or that's the plan, anyway. The second she steps onto it she feels the wrongness, the precariousness, the sense that the ship's gravity is going to fail at any moment. She lets out a yell of surprise and throws herself back onto the ship, slamming the door behind her.

It's going to be a long, long time before she feels comfortable enough to go back out there again.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I do a lot of emotions. I do hate real good too, but I'm trying to do it less.

... Hey, I got a question. Does it feel like it means less, knowing I love a lot of people? Does it seem less special? It don't feel like it does, to me, but I wanna know if it does to other people.

[She thinks about this for a moment before she answers.]

It doesn't mean less. It means more, maybe. I don't know why.

[That's just what she feels.]

Oh.

[She's a little surprised by that answer, but pleased.]

Okay. Good. Good, 'cause I don't want people thinking that... I don't know. I don't want the people I love thinking they ain't special to me.

I know I'm special to you.

[She doesn't always believe it, but she knows.]

Yeah. You really are. You're one of my favorite people, actually.

[Lourdes is a different kind of favorite from people like Iris or Roderick or even Dillon, but as is typical for Tiffany, it hadn't taken long for her to place her in that category.]

Really?

[She can't help but be surprised by that.]

Why me?

I don't know.

I think you remind me of me, a little bit.

[That's a part of it. Her being one of the only inmates Tiffany feels confident enough to actually be genuinely wardenly at helps, too.]

But it's also like... I can't explain it. It ain't like I decide to make it happen, it just happens.

Just a feeling you get.

[The smile she gives is almost warm. Closer to it than anything she's done before, anyway. It's interesting that she reminds Tiffany of herself. That could be useful.]

[She feels guilty even for thinking it, and nudges Tiffany's knee again.]

I'm kind of glad it happened.

Me, too.

[Far more for Lourdes's sake than for her own.]

But I can tell you it ain't gonna go away.

[She has a history of changing her opinions on things and people easily - but that's changing for her, now. She's connecting to stuff on a deeper level. It's making the flip-flopping far less common.]

[Good, she thinks, and is surprised for thinking it, her eyes casting downwards as she thinks. She doesn't want what Tiffany feels for her to go away. She wants to keep it forever and always, selfishly hoarding it close so that no one else can have it or see it. It belongs to her now. She never wants to give it up.]

[But a deal is a deal, she thinks, and so she looks up at Tiffany with a hesitant expression.]

Can I ask you something?

Yeah. What is it?

Do you think it's right, the way the Admiral takes away our powers?

... I don't know.

It's a tough question, for me, 'cause I don't got any of my own. So I don't really know what it's like, you know? And a couple months ago, I would've said yeah, it's good that it happens, because I'd be thinking about people like Arthas who wanna destroy the Barge and kill everybody on it.

But now I'm a warden, and somebody told me the most important thing about being one is letting the inmates know they can trust us. And I bet it's easier to trust us when we're not keeping shit from you - 'cause the Admiral's the one who takes 'em away, but if an inmate's got a warden, the warden can ask for 'em back. And there's a lot of other ways to be dangerous, even if you don't got powers. One of the most dangerous people I know here doesn't have any at all. So it ain't like the Barge is safe if inmates don't have powers, and dangerous if they do.

Yeah. I really don't know. I'm still figuring out what I think, I guess.

[She listens to this very carefully, and is . . . surprised, actually, by how much thought Tiffany has put into it. Impressed. There's still a moral code being worked out in there, but it's not totally unformed.]

[She smiles, a little weakly, and nods.]

It's just that it feels like part of me isn't there anymore. I talked to somebody else who felt the same way. It's just . . . empty.

You know when you get a warden you might be able to get 'em back, right? Or... I think you need a warden. Arthas had his somehow, and he ain't ever had a permanent warden that I knew of until just this month.

Then how do you get them back? Can any warden just do it?

I don't know, I never tried. But I don't got the powers anymore, and the Admiral still ain't talking.

. . . Do you know Pietro?

[She grins.]

Yeah! I know Pietro. He's great.

He won't tell you he's hurting, but he is.

You care about him?

I guess.

[She makes a show of looking a little uncomfortable.]

He's a lot like me.

Are you hurting without your powers, too?

[Another hesitation.]

I don't feel whole.

[So that's a yes.]

I'm sorry.

Y'all don't have wardens, though. You don't have nobody to ask.