![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
monologues (cw: homophobia, religious extremism, general tastelessness)
"'Cause there ain't no point Leanne, all right? I got beat. Ain't nobody up there looking out for me no more. You know, He finally come to me after all this time that I been following him? I finally heard Him talk to me. Him saying how I was His girl - I was. Turns out it weren't him. Nope, it was Chapman. The bitch-devil of Litchfield. Look, I ain't looking for revenge, okay? She'd probably kick my ass anyway. Leanne, do you know what it means when there ain't nobody up there punishing evildoers? It means there ain't nobody up there giving out prizes for the good ones, neither. 'Cause there ain't no judge, there ain't no justice - we just crawl around this earth like ants. And then we die."
"All right. I'm just gonna give it to you straight, College - I been harboring some real bad hate in my heart for you. You saved me from some shit you got me into. Don't be surprised if there's not a national holiday declared in your name. Do you realize that you almost ruined my life? You made the Almighty God into a joke, and a joke ain't nothing to me. A joke didn't write me letters up in here, and a joke didn't give me hope so I can do my time and maybe make something of it. What do you believe in? You're not religious, okay? Just stop. Stop. Do you believe in Hussein Obama? Electric cars, and Shakespeare books, and do you go out to eat to restaurants? I don't have any of that, okay? All I have is Him. Don't ask for my forgiveness. You should ask for His forgiveness. You need to get right with him, and then we'll see that all this was part of His plan. And we don't have to fight anymore."
"Okay, I figured it out. She don't need God - that was a misinterpretation. I went back to my book to find some answers - I needed a clear answer. Luke 19:27. Jesus said 'But those mine enemies which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither and slay them before me. And I found it. I turned right-- right to the page. Now if that-- that ain't a sign, I don't know what is."
"You think I'm scared of you? Do you? I'm not scared of you, 'cause I've got God by my side. And He told me that you ain't worth nothing. See? See how He just worked through me? And He wants me to smite you. I see things. She-devil. That's what you are - you're the devil. And I'm the angel of God. I mean, look at my dress! Have you seen it? How's that for poetry? Hm? 'Cause God loves me. He don't love you. 'Cause you ain't worthy of God's love. You ain't worthy of nobody's love. So I think it's time that you die."
"Y'all are done with me? That's really funny. That's really funny, Leanne - 'cause if I'm Hilary Clinton, then y'all must be some sister-wife, tweaker, Slurpee-drinking, fourth-grade reading level, daddy on Cops, trailer trash nothing. And you know what, it's okay, 'cause y'all ain't never challenged me anyway. Actually, you know what, none of you did - not one. You keep playing tennis with someone worse than you, and you ain't never gonna get better, so thank you. You know what? Pardon my French, but you can eat my shit. Whore, whore, whore!"
"I mean, because of you, Mr. Healy, I made a new friend - somebody that I would have never talked to, and you know it. I mean, is that something else or what? All right, listen. We don't got to talk, okay? I know you got issues with the butchies, and you're not that far off the mark. And I know you're pissed off at me that I didn't make it to group. I'm sorry. But I want you to know something. I am forever grateful to you. Because you're the only person in my whole life that's... ever taken the time to talk to me. And it just seems like you're really good at what you do, and that you really care."
- 1x12, "Fool Me Once"
"All right. I'm just gonna give it to you straight, College - I been harboring some real bad hate in my heart for you. You saved me from some shit you got me into. Don't be surprised if there's not a national holiday declared in your name. Do you realize that you almost ruined my life? You made the Almighty God into a joke, and a joke ain't nothing to me. A joke didn't write me letters up in here, and a joke didn't give me hope so I can do my time and maybe make something of it. What do you believe in? You're not religious, okay? Just stop. Stop. Do you believe in Hussein Obama? Electric cars, and Shakespeare books, and do you go out to eat to restaurants? I don't have any of that, okay? All I have is Him. Don't ask for my forgiveness. You should ask for His forgiveness. You need to get right with him, and then we'll see that all this was part of His plan. And we don't have to fight anymore."
- 1x12, "Fool Me Once"
"Okay, I figured it out. She don't need God - that was a misinterpretation. I went back to my book to find some answers - I needed a clear answer. Luke 19:27. Jesus said 'But those mine enemies which would not that I should reign over them, bring hither and slay them before me. And I found it. I turned right-- right to the page. Now if that-- that ain't a sign, I don't know what is."
- 1x13, "Can't Fix Crazy"
"You think I'm scared of you? Do you? I'm not scared of you, 'cause I've got God by my side. And He told me that you ain't worth nothing. See? See how He just worked through me? And He wants me to smite you. I see things. She-devil. That's what you are - you're the devil. And I'm the angel of God. I mean, look at my dress! Have you seen it? How's that for poetry? Hm? 'Cause God loves me. He don't love you. 'Cause you ain't worthy of God's love. You ain't worthy of nobody's love. So I think it's time that you die."
- 1x13, "Can't Fix Crazy"
"Y'all are done with me? That's really funny. That's really funny, Leanne - 'cause if I'm Hilary Clinton, then y'all must be some sister-wife, tweaker, Slurpee-drinking, fourth-grade reading level, daddy on Cops, trailer trash nothing. And you know what, it's okay, 'cause y'all ain't never challenged me anyway. Actually, you know what, none of you did - not one. You keep playing tennis with someone worse than you, and you ain't never gonna get better, so thank you. You know what? Pardon my French, but you can eat my shit. Whore, whore, whore!"
- 2.06, "You Also Have a Pizza"
"I mean, because of you, Mr. Healy, I made a new friend - somebody that I would have never talked to, and you know it. I mean, is that something else or what? All right, listen. We don't got to talk, okay? I know you got issues with the butchies, and you're not that far off the mark. And I know you're pissed off at me that I didn't make it to group. I'm sorry. But I want you to know something. I am forever grateful to you. Because you're the only person in my whole life that's... ever taken the time to talk to me. And it just seems like you're really good at what you do, and that you really care."
- 2.13, "We Have Manners. We're Polite."
5x06, "Flaming Hot Cheetos, Literally"
["Oh, Jesus. I strongly suggest you shut the fuck up, girl."]
No, it's okay. It's okay, it's okay. Listen, my friend here, she's worried that I'm gonna say too much. But all I can say is the truth. And the truth is, I helped the guard escape. And yeah, we had a relationship that was difficult to define. It was even confusing at times, but... let me ask y'all, what would y'all have done if you would've found him?"
["Cut off his balls", "Murdered him", etc.]
"What's the point? And then what? So you'd have another hostage. Whee! And then, another strike on your record? You know what you'd be doing, actually? You'd be staring down the barrel of forever, is what you'd be doing up in here."
["This is bullshit! She's not thinking about us, she was protecting her boyfriend."]
"No, that's not true. Come on. Hey, listen, all I can do is stand up here and tell you how I feel, all right? I'm a person, I'm talking to people. Okay? I'm just gonna leave y'all to it, how 'bout that? And if y'all think that I deserve to be thrown up in the poo-poo or whatever, then fine. That makes you no better than them. You know, that's really sad, because they suck. We had the chance to rule hard up in here. Y'all don't wanna rule?"